Dream

16 - Opened Minds, Opened Eyes

JUSTINES P.O.V

I was still holding matts hand, just to make sure he was still alive and hasn't left me yet. His dad would always come in and sit there for a while as we made small talk about my life. I asked how he was doing and he told me he was hanging in there but it was also hard for him not beating able to see his family because of the long hours he had to get more money.

I was worried that Matthew was going to die any second or minute. I was scared he was never going to wake up and I wouldn't be able to see his beautiful eyes again, or hear his voice.

What I don't understand is that Matt told be to stay strong. He told me he was always going to be there and he would help me get through everything if it got hard. I trusted what he said. When he called me a month ago, telling me he wasn't good enough and how he was saying he was causing my pain. I understand that he was hurting me by his mom. It's not like He was putting me down on purpose he was just sad because of his issues with his mom and how everything was working out. It killed me because I wasnt there for him when he needed me and that caused everything to be how it is right now.

HOURS LATER

It was late at night and I got up to go the bathroom. Instead of using the one in the room I walked down the hallway and into the bathrooms provided. I walked out and turned the corner towards his room. I saw the peramedics rush into Matts room and his family was standing at the outside of the door asking them questions. I didnt know what was going on so I rushed towards his room to try to get in. I squeexed past them and they were trying to revive him. By now my head was in my knees and I was bawlling my eyes out in his room at the end of his bed. "Sweetie you have to leave the room." One of the nurse' said to me. I got up and held on the wall for support. What if Matt never wakes up, what if hes already gone?

4 DAYS LATER

I was one of the longest most dreadful, miserable days of my whole life. I looked like a mess, all the crying. My eyes were red and puffy and I always had a headache. I know its unhealthy but i want to be here with him because I want to be here if and when he wakes up.

3 HOURS LATER

I was going to leave the hospital and go back to California. It was unhealthy staying here and having no one to talk to. I was hoping Matt would wake up so I didnt have to leave but I dont think hes going to wake up anytime soon. I sat down beside Matt in the chair that I had put there a couple days ago. I grabbed Matts hand and started to talk. "Hey Matt, i dont know if you can hear me but i am going to talk anyways. So, this last month has been so crazy. Our breakup and your mom and yourself. I could of been there for you when you needed me and instead I was watching Disney movies in my bed all day not even communicating with the others. You broke me again Matt, I know you dont want to hear that but im broken and I need you right now. Im leaving in a couple minutes and I just want you to wake up. I want you to wake up Matthew please..." I said and cried harder laying my head on his hospital bed. Why does life work like this. Why cant we love eachother and be happy again. Why cant everything be fine again so we could be happy instead of living these lives full of regret, depression and stress. I kissed him softly on his cheek. "I'll always love you Matt." I said crying. I kissed his lips and grabbed my bag and walked out of his room crying silently. I hugged his dad and brothers and walked towards the elevator. I looked at all the happy faces and sad faces as I was walking throught the hallways in the hospital. I was still crying.

I could never see Matt again and I was just walking away from him. I should be up there holding his hand. Not letting him go like i said I was. I turned around and went up to his floor. His dad and brothers were gone. And Matts door was closed. I sat down in the waiting room chairs waiting for someone to come back so I could know whats going on. I know, weird. I come back after 3 minutes realizing I should be with him and I shouldnt leave him. Matts dad walked out of his room with a smile on his face crying. He panicked and looked both ways around the hallway. His eyes landed on me "Justine, get inside. Hes up..Matts up." He said and I sprinted into the room and rushing towards Matt.

"Justine?" Matt asked. I nodded my head and hugged him tightly. I was crying my eyes out and I looked at him. He looked so bad, the life was sucked out of him. He looked down at his wrist and started to cry. "Why are you here?" His voice cracked. "Because I care, because i found out what happened and I rushed over here as fast as I could just to see you. Just to see if you were okay. I was broken Matt I needed you. I couldnt just sit in California and wonder if everything was going to be alright. I sat in that chair for days hoping you would wake up. Hoping I would never hear the heart moniter go flat. If i did I wouldnt be able to handle anything in life, I dont know what I would have done Matt. I need you. I love you so much." I cried in his chest as his hand rubbed mine softly.

"I love you too Justine. Im so sorry.' He said choking on his tears. "I shouldnt of ended it. I was stupid. It was the stress, it was getting to me." He said and I hugged him tight. "Will you be my princess again? Ill always be there for you, as long as your always there for me." He said. "I kised him softly. I pulled away and smiled. "Forever and always your princess Matt, I love you."