The Perfect Man | J Cole

23

It's almost my birthday so for a surprise I decided to give y'all some of my chapters that I kept saved for a while. They may be kind of short but whatever lol hope y'all enjoy  ❤

Jermaine

"Damn, nigga what's up your ass?" Ibrahim shook his head as he threw the basketball towards me. I caught it just at time.

"Man, nothing. I just didn't sleep well." I knew Ibrahim didn't buy it. He snatched the ball from me and shook his head. "You gone tell me what's up with you or is your ass gonna force me to update mama Kay on her son's attitude these days?"

We both sat down on the bench that was placed on the side of the basketball field. I stretched and took a sip of my water bottle. "You know the girl I once told you about?" Ib's attention turned to me and he frowned. "You mean the rich chick with the fat ass or the high school lover?"

I chuckled at how he referred to the girls. "The high school lover. Gianni." Ibrahim nodded and layed back, dapping away the sweat on his forehead with the towel that was layed around his neck. "Man, I'm still not over her." I said.

It felt weird talking to Ibrahim about this. I've never talked about Gianni to anyone. Especially niggas. I love to brag about my girl but I don't want anyone having an eye on her. Even if they never seen her. Just the thoughts of other niggas imagining my girl... Nah. Shit makes me mad.

I heard Ibrahim's gass laugh as he rubbed his eyes. He seemed tired. "You trippin. What you on, nigga?"

"Ibrahim, I'm not playing. I saw her a few days ago when I went on a date with the Raina chick. I ditched Raina, went to Gianni and talked to her. Turns out she's got a whole baby." Ibrahim sat straight and looked me in my eyes. "You forreal?" He didn't look to convinced so I grabbed my phone and showed a picture of her laying next to me. "Man y'all fucked already?!" Ibrahim put his hand up his mouth and grabbed my phone, looking at the pics.

Damn. I should have showed another pic.

"It's not about that." I grabbed my phone, locked it and put it on the bench. "We tried to work it out, but I keep thinking of her fucking child. I can't be no father figure to him. I wanna be with her so bad, but that kid is keeping me away." It still seemed as if Ibrahim was shocked, but he tried to hide it so I wouldn't stress more.

"Where's the daddy?" I hated talking about this.

"She don't even fucking know who the daddy is. She left me and right after she got pregnant. Not used to that shit from her. She was she shyest. Like a nigga would breath in her space and she would already be scared as shit. So running around fucking other dudes is nothing for her. But she claims it 'once' happened." I wish I had some Hennessy right now. I need some in my system.

"Why she left you, though?" Ibrahim looked at me. As I was thinking, there was still no reason I could think of to why she left me. She never really told me something that sounded logical. "Because..." My voice trailed of as I tried to think. "Shit, I'on know."

The sudden slap of Ibrahim's towel came in contact with my back and I hissed. "What was that for?" I tried to rub my back. That shit hurt.

"For being dumb! You got a pic of the lil' boy?" I frowned and shook my head. Ibrahim licked his lips as she leaned his head on the palm of his hand. And the next thing he said, truly blew me the fuck up.

"Obviously, that kid must be yours."

What?

My heart started to beat faster and I couldn't find a word to say. I honestly wanted to curse at Ibrahim for saying such a thing, but on the other hand a picture of Lorenzo popped in my head.

Could it be?

"You trippin'." I stood up and grabbed the basketball. "Let's continue. Enough talking." I threw the ball and Ib stood up, softly pushing me. "Nah, nigga. You gotta think this through! You know how many girls do that shit? Get pregnant at a young age and leave a nigga cause they scared or whatever?" — "Gianni don't do shit like that." He shook his head and grabbed the ball.

"You never know, brother. I'm just saying."

Gianni

"Dat one." Lorenzo's tiny finger pointed at the toy he wanted. I grabbed it and checked the price. Glad it's something I can afford.

I decided to take some fresh air with Lorenzo. I took him to McDonalds and right after we went to the toy shop so I could buy him something. It's been a while since I bought him something.

My mind has been so full lately. I decided to take some of Jilenna's advice; chill the fuck out.

Take some time to be with Lorenzo, actually be a mother, try to teach him more about life. My main focus right now was to chill and feed Lorenzo with laughs and all.

It seems so easy being a mother and a father at once. I try my best to understand Lorenzo and I fear the future day by day.

How will I be able to control Lorenzo in his teenage years? Or when he brings home a girl? I know it's early for me to be stressing about that but still, I actually want to look forward and not be shocked when the things come.

"That'll be $8 please." The woman behind the cashier said as she scanned the toy. I pulled out my creditcard, payed and left the toystore.

He was actually really good at walking for a 2 year old. He started walking at 18 months and I was scared to death at that time. I was scared something might be wrong with his legs or hips since he took a pretty long time before he actually started walking.

I remember the first time I caught him walking— it was hilarious. I was making something to eat in the kitchen and I remember when I walked back to the livingroom to see Lorenzo jumping around and all, and as soon as he noticed me, he dropped to the floor and pretended he actually couldn't walk. So I knew my baby was tricking me. He absolutely loves being carried. I don't know why. It's actually an uncommon thing for babies to love being carried. As soon as they learn to walk, they'll start feeling like the shit and act like they don't need your help.

I smiled to myself as more memories replayed in my mind as I walked back home with Lorenzo by my side and his laughs surrounding me.