The Perfect Man | J Cole

26

Gianni

"Pick up the phone, baby." I had the urge to cry as I dialed Jermaine's number for the 17th time tonight. He's not answering any of my calls.

I managed to contact Ibrahim, Jermaine's friend, he answered and told me he was going out to search for J, since he had to be at the studio at least 2 hours ago. He never comes late, said Ibrahim.

I was scared shitless. Could he have done something to himself? The call went to voicemail again.

That's enough. I grabbed my phone and threw it against the wall letting out a loud yell. Where the fuck was he? I started to cry and pulled on my curls out of stress.

Where was he and what the fuck was he doing?

I was so scared. So fucking scared. My heart was bout to beat out of my damn chest and my nerves were clear to see on my neck. I walked towards my phone, bent down and picked it up, seeing 4 new cracks in it. I sighed and quickly dialed my dad's number.

"Help," I cried out as soon as my father picked up.

"Do you know any more of his friends?" My dad asked as he drove through the streets. It was dark and no one was on the streets, except for a few drunk people leaving some club nearby.

"No. I only know Ibrahim and he's the only one I managed to contact." My voice was shaky as I looked out of the car window desperately.

I heard dad sigh and he turned to the road. As I was looking around, in hope to see Jermaine, I noticed a tall, big figure near by the street. The person seemed to hold a bottle and sit on the edge of the sidewalk.

"Dad, can you stop there?"

My instincts were telling me it wasn't Jermaine. Cause Jermaine never drinks. On occasions is the only time he drinks alcohol. But I was just desperate to find Jermaine at the moment so I just tried to search as much as I could.

My heart ached as we came closer and recognized Jermaine, sitting there on the ground. Taking another sip of whatever kind of fucking alcohol he had. I personally know nothing of alcohol. Shit disgusts me.

"Baby." I cried as I opened the door and approached Jermaine as fast as I could. "Jermiane, baby, why?" I grabbed the bottle and gave it to my dad, who was standing behind me, looking at us in a not so proud way.

"You..." he pointed his finger at me and sloppily laughed. "You lied to me."

I looked at him and took in how he looked. His eyes were hanging low, so I knew it wasn't just alcohol that he took. He probably smoke some weed too. His afro was looking a little bigger than usual, he probably has been pulling on it.

"Jermaine..." I tried to grab his hand but he slapped it away.

"I... I can do this on my own." His tall body tried to stand up but it was impossible. He was too drunk.

I grabbed his arm, he didn't try to fight it. Wrapping his arm around my neck, my dad opened the door and I sat in the back seat with Jermaine. He layed back, sighing and playing with his nappy hair. I couldn't help but notice how good he still looked.

So handsome, even when he's drunk and out of his mind. He still had me head over heels for him. This man deserved all of me and I wasn't so sure if I deserved all of him.

I lied too much. Hurt him too much.

"Baby." A tear ran down my cheek as I touched his cheek. "I'm so sorry." He was too tired to answer. His head hung low, so I pushed him against me and let him put his head on my lap, he started to snore right away. "I don't deserve you." I whispered as I played with his hair. He looked bad. The walls under his eyes were very visible from all the crying.

"Drive to my house." I told my dad and he nodded, starting the engine.

As soon as I came home, my dad left. He didn't have such a great bond with Jermaine so talking to him wasn't going to solve things.

The bond between them was broken when my dad found out I got pregnant by Jermaine. That was the one thing to not do.

You do any dirty stuff with my daughter, please know I'll gladly chop your head off.

My dad had scared Jermaine the first day he visited my house. I cried from laughing that day, Jermaine seemed so scared.

My thoughts went on as I played with Jermaine's goatee as he slept on my bed. It took an eternity to wake him up and try to get him in bed.

Lorenzo was laying next to Jermaine. Jilenna was watching him till my dad and I came back. She told me he hadn't woken up.

Now that Jermaine and Lorenzo were laying next to each other, sleeping peacefully, I took a moment to stare at them.

Damn. Lorenzo really is a mini Jermaine.

Lorenzo's lips were an exact copy of Jermaine's, just a little plumper. His nose looking nothing like his daddies. The only thing Lorenzo managed to get from me was my darker skin complex and nose.

For the eyes. Man I was in absolute love with Lorenzo's eyes. They were big and were surrounded by gigantic lashes. Just like Jermaine's. They were big and pulled just a little.

Let me tell you about my son's smile. Mannnnnn. Lorenzo lowkey had me blushing at times, looking at that charming smile of his. His deep dimples appeared very fast. Even when he tried to talk, you can always catch a small glimpse of his dimples.

After looking at my 2 stunning boys for a longer while, I decided to take a quick shower and join them in bed.

Lorenzo had both his legs on Jermaine's tummy and I hugged Jermaine from the other side.

I didn't want Lorenzo to sleep in the middle, cause I wanted to be able to clinge onto Jermaine's body. So I put some pillows to keep Lorenzo save from falling and fell a sleep,

enjoying our first time sleeping as a small family.