The Perfect Man | J Cole

25

Gianni

"Where is he?" Jermaine asked after he dried his face with his hands and looked up at me. He looked so awful. So heartbroken. I was the one to do that to him. Not once but twice.

Leaving him and not telling him about his baby.

My trembling fingers pointed at the room and Jermaine stood up, walking towards the room. I decided to not follow him. He deserves some time alone to think. I wasn't going to make this harder on him.

Jermaine

I felt the urge to cry again as soon as my eyes noticed the baby laying in the bed. My baby.

How could I have not noticed? Now that I'm looking at my son, I realize how much he favors me. He looked like an exact mix of Gi and I.

I've never expected this. After talking to Ib last night, he actually came up with this idea. Go to Gianni and straight up ask if Lorenzo is mine.

Looking at him made me feel happy inside. I got to make that. I did that. How could I have missed 2 years of my son's life? I was willing to be by his side forever now. I'm not going to leave him. Ever. I'm going to be the father I'm supposed to be. The father every kid deserves.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore as I touched his face slowly. He looked so peaceful. So beautiful... So innocent. How did I put him through this?

Daddy wasn't there to help him with his first steps. Help him with his first words. Imagine if I wouldn't have found out today. My son would grow into a man without me knowing. I missed 2 years of my baby's life and I already feel like I missed an eternity. I wish I could turn back time and actually realise what was going on. The fact that I found my son this way, saddened me.

My feelings were all over the place. Will I be able to be a father all of a sudden? A father to a 2 year old?

All I felt was love looking at my blood, sleeping peacefully. I'm going to protect him with everything I have and make him adore his life.

I promise. On God, I'm going to help my son grow into the man I want him to grow.

Gianni

"Jermaine," my soft voice tried to call out for Jermaine as he grabbed his jacket and wore his shoes. Where was he going?

"I'll come by later Gianni. I just need some time alone." His voice still clearly irritated, mad and hurt. His eyes were shot red from the crying and rubbing. His face looking a little swollen. He closed the door and I was left alone with just my tears as company.

I didn't know how to feel. Obviously I felt dumb and ashamed of the actions I took at the age of 16. Deciding to keep Jermaine's son a secret is the dumbest thing I could have ever done.