COASTER LIFE (Satzu X TWICE)

13.

"someone is already in base 5" i let go of the hug and glared at Momo. She will definitely tease me again.

"Mind your business Momo." I hissed and sat down. I watch Chewey back while she's washing the dishes.

"Chewey, don't let this flirt win over you okay?" I throw the towel in the table to her.

"Yah! Shut up!" I shouted but she just laughed at me. Knowing her, she will tease me to death again.

"It's alright Momo eonni. I know how to win over her." I look at Chewey and she's smirking again. Why is she so adorable while doing that?

"How about that Sana? Seems like she know what are you doing?" Of course she knows. That big mouth of your is the reason why she found out. I thought to myself.

"Can't you just shut your mouth and leave us alone?" I rolled my eyes. I can't win over with her right now.

"You really want to be alone with her?" She laughed all of a sudden and winked at me. I just throw a death glare to her. She ruined my moment with Chewey.

Chewey is finally done what she's doing and look at me. "Aren't you going out today?" She asked. Oh?

"How did you know?" My left eyebrow raised up. She sat down in front of me and drink the water in the bottle.

"It's Sunday. People supposed to go out right?" She said while playing her nails. How cute. She's really a kid.

"I'll be going out later. You want to join me?" She can meet my friend to if she wants it. I'll be visiting a friend of mine.

"No thanks. I have something to do." She refused and stood up. I pouted. Where is she going? I want to ask but I'm afraid she will build walls again.

"Okay. Let's go and watch with them." I dragged her by arm and sat next to Dahyun who is focused watching the movie. I let Chewey sat beside me.

Everyone is too focused on the movie, even the girl beside me. I decided to hug her waist and rested my head on her lap. I look at her and she's smiling at me. She seems so different person. Last night, she's cold and hard to approach with. Sometimes she's flirt, playful and cool person that I want to knock off. And now, she's sweet, act like an innocent kid, and touchable. Does it mean she really has double personality or worse more than three or more personality? How can I deal with that?

I stood up and dragged Chewey through the empty room. She look confused but I need to ask her a question.

"What are we doing her eonni?" She asked. I hold both of her hands and look at her face.

"Chewey, be honest with me. Do you have double personality?" I'm stupid for asking her. She yanked my hands and look away. I waited for her to talk. I understand. Not all people can easily open up with someone.

"I-i h-have PSTD." she murmured enough for me to hear what she said.

I touch her face and held her chin to make her look at me. "Hey, it's alright. I'll try to fix that." I don't know why i said those words. It's just slip through my mouth.

It is not sickness or disease. People who has PSTD or not crazy or bipolar. They have been through trauma.  Maybe several and Post Traumatic System Disorder is the effect. They have good days and bad days. Up days and down days. Sometimes up and down in one day. Sometimes even in an hour. Sometimes we know that we trigger it and sometimes we don't. Sometimes there is no trigger, it only happens and based on Chewey, it always happens. She said her mood in an instant. Maybe a day, an hour or a week. Some of them has bad dreams, which always happens to me, night sweat shakes, anxiety attack, depression, isolation, and a slew of other symptoms that sometimes they don't. Some days are worse than others. I'm glad that it doesn't happen to her yet. They don't ask for PTSD.  They don't like it. But people has it. All you have to do is to wait, patience, understanding and love. That's what they needed.

I hugged her tightly. "Don't worry, what ever may caused of your Pstd, I'll try to fix it. I'll try not to trigger it. But first, can you tell me the reason why you have it?" I don't know if she can open up with me more. But I want to know. I want to know the reasons.

"Eonni, I don't think you can fix me." I let go of the hug and look at her face.

"But why?" 

"I'm afraid, afraid that.... You can be one of the reason to make it worse. I mean, I supposed not to be close with you. I supposed not to talk with you. I supposed not to get fond of you. But look, everything I supposed not to do already happened. I'm afraid, Afraid to lose you or one of my eonnis here again. I'm afraid that it will happened again." She's been dealing with this. That's one of her reason why she built those walls on her. But how can I blame her People who has Pstd is really afraid that the one who caused their pstd happened again.

"Then, I'm going to love you and try to fix your heart" Everything is a game for me, but I'm afraid now, I'm afraid I will lose her.

Mina and Momo will definitely hates me, If that happened I'll try to explain everything. I'll try to open their mind that real love really exist. I don't know when it started. I just feel it. It happened to me last night. At first I'm hesitant. Maybe because she's attractive, maybe because She's extra ordinary. But no, she has something that can make me feel this thing which supposed not to happened.

She didn't answered. I know it's not that easy.

"Eonni, it's time for you to take a bath. You have an appointment today." She said. Shoot!

"Thanks chewey. Don't forget what I told you." I said and hugged her tightly before going out of the room.

Loving me isn't easy. I have sharp edges. I have missing parts too. But all was fixed by a girl named Chewey. I'll try to fix her too.

-----
-Chewey-
After hearing those words from her my concern started to grow up. I hope she can keep her promises. I'm afraid to be left behind again.

After seeing her went out of the door, All I can do is to smile.

Smile, because finally I can be happy again.

I sent a message to someone.

Thank you. I owe you one.

All I have to do now, Is to prepare already. I have a place to go.

____________

A/N

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