I'm Here to Pick Up a Fossil (Rogers/Barnes x reader)

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Requested by @Capsicle_ : I wondered if you could do an imagine where Steve and Bucky go to the smithsonian and pretend to be statues and the first one who gets caught loses and perhaps does some ridiculous dare.. I'm terrible at coming up with them.. Thanks a bunch and I think your writing is incredible, I love reading your stories! :D   I hope this is okay!  I strayed from the request just a little, but it's pretty close!!

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"Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only to give his life in service of his country."

 "Damn, this is more depressing than actually living through it," Bucky scoffed, looking down at the exhibit pamphlet in his hands, his thumb nervously flicking at the corner as he read words written about his past self by someone who never even knew him. "Actually, who do I need to talk to about this?"

"About what?" you asked cautiously, glancing up at Steve, his attention drawn from the panels that adorned his image and towards his friend in equal curiosity.

"Well, I didn't actually give my life. I'm standing right here. The exhibit is wrong."

"Actually, now that you mention it," Steve added, "I gave my life too..but just cuz we came back, it doesn't change the intent..."

"Are you two being serious right now?"

"The Smithsonian should be sharing historically accurate information, (Y/N)," Steve argued, "and if this is our story, who better to set it straight?"

"Hey, you're right, Cap. There's just one thing that you're forgetting."

Steve and Bucky exchanged confused looks, their brows furrowed as they searched their minds for the answer. You could see the gears turning in their heads as they replayed their own histories over and over, glancing at the exhibit and then to the information in their hands, finding nothing amiss other than what they had already pointed out. "Okay, I give," Steve finally relented, "what are we forgetting?"

"You destroyed the uniform that you stole," you answered, pointing to the still undressed mannequin that had previously held his wartime Captain America uniform. "I have a sneaking suspicion that if you march up into the office to demand changes, they're going to arrest you."

"But it was mine."

"No, it was the government's property. Even worse, it was registered as a historical artifact. I wouldn't put it past you to take a run at stealing the Constitution next."

"Shit," Bucky groaned, feeling his body switching gears and his nerves coming to life as he looked around the room like every eye was now on him. "Way to go, Steve, always getting us in trouble, ya damn punk."

"But it was mine," he argued again, this time his voice a soft whine under his breath. He too was now looking at the surroundings, deciding that maybe field trip day was over. "Alright, let's just go...oh, great," he huffed, "now you've got me paranoid, (Y/N). Security's coming this way."

"Steve, I'm sure they aren't-" you halted when you turned to realize that you were now talking to...no one. Both Steve and Bucky were nowhere in sight, gone in literally the blink of an eye. "The hell?" Spinning in each direction, you scanned the crowd for two men who shouldn't be this hard to find, coming up with nothing until there was a gentle cough from not too far behind you. Turning towards the display of depression-era radios, you could barely stifle your laugh at the sight of Bucky sitting on one of the couches with a family of mannequins, his body still as a rock as he tried to blend into them. "Barnes, what are you doing?"

"Shh," he hissed quietly through clenched teeth, "where's Steve?"

"I don't know," you whispered back, looking at the paper in your hands rather than to draw attention his way. "Why are you hiding?"

"Dumbass stole from the Smithsonian and I'll be damned if I'm taking the heat for it."

"Buck-"

"Is that Captain America?!"

The delighted squeal of a small child grabbed your attention and spun you around, anxious to find what Steve had gotten himself into this time. Another exclamation came a few seconds later, allowing you to follow the voice to a display of medical equipment from the early 1900's where a small crowd had gathered around to see the unlikely figure within it. When you approached, you swore that you could see a few beads of sweat fall from Steve's forehead; even with the growing attention on him, he stood like a statue, unwavering in his commitment. You took a stand at the front of the crowd, positioning yourself to be directly in his line of sight so that you might try to break him; before you could begin, a woman stepped up next to you with a gentle tap on your arm to get your attention.

"Why would they put Captain America in this exhibit?" she whispered. "Do you think they messed up the mannequins?"

"Well, Cap had a lot of medical problems when he was young," you offered quickly, impressing even yourself, "so maybe they thought it could work. You know, maybe to say that even superheroes are human? I mean, he had asthma, anemia, anxiety, high blood pressure, palpitations, and I think Scarlet Fever, so putting him in this kinda makes sense in a weird way."

"Wow," you heard him mutter under his breath, catching him off-guard when you looked up at him and he realized how loud he had been. Once he had your attention and held your gaze, he shifted his eyes away in the hopes that you would follow his hint to help him escape the predicament that he had found himself in. Unfortunately for him, you weren't quite ready to let these boys off the hook.

"Although," you continued with the woman, "are you sure that's Cap? I mean, he seems kinda...small, doesn't he? I always thought that Captain America was bigger."

She tilted her head slightly and considered your words, taking a few steps closer to him; her hand reached out but stopped, remembering herself and the warning sign right in front of her to not touch the exhibits. You knew that Steve would be uncomfortable under her scrutiny, leaving you to feel the same when her eyes lingered just a bit too long on the muscles stretching the material of his shirt over his chest. "Hmm, now that you mention it..."

"Right? I don't think this is supposed to be Cap. He's too scrawny."

"Scrawny?" Steve gasped, fully offended and eliciting a shriek of surprise and a tight grip on your arm from the stranger next to you. "I am not scrawny! Not anymore, thank you very much!"

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed just as loudly, drawing the attention of the guards that Steve had seen only a few moments before. He hopped down from the platform and grabbed your hand, looking anxiously over the tops of the heads in the crowd to try to find his best friend.

"Where's Buck?"

"Radios!"

He gave your hand a solid pull and led you back through the group, waving his free hand eagerly towards Bucky when he finally found him on the far side of the hall. When your trio had come back together, Steve led the way towards the main doors as quickly as he could, with a worried glance over his shoulder every few seconds to keep track of how close the security guards were getting to you as they gave chase. You grabbed your phone from your pocket and typed frantically as best as you could with running to keep pace with Steve, hoping that the message would get through to its recipient in time.

"See what I mean about getting us in trouble?" Bucky laughed from behind you. "There should be an exhibit on how many times I saved his ass back in the day!"

"Not now, Buck!" Steve snapped. "There! Doors!" He stopped abruptly and turned towards you, swinging his arm under your legs and lifting you to him so that he could run faster, feeling like the guards were being given too much leeway in their gains on you. Once he made it to the exit, he pushed the door open with a loud bang, spilling out onto the sidewalk only to stop with a deep sigh of relief and wide smile at the sight of the sleek black car waiting for the three of you.

"So this is where the Smithsonian is," Natasha chuckled from the driver's seat. "Get in losers. Just don't get any fossil dust on the leather."

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