Take Me back to the Start | B. Barnes

45. Let go

"It's truly ironic, don't you think so?" I groan and glance at the grave stone of the cemetery. "How is it possible that Rebecca died exactly a week before we woke up? If they had found us seven days earlier two months ago, then there would have been the chance that we could've met her. Now the last member of Bucky's family is gone for good."

"Nothing's really been all that simple lately." Steve sighs, referring to the press conference. A month after the alien invasion in Manhattan, SHIELD was bombed with questions about Captain America's and Voltricity's real identities since the heroes died seventy years ago. So far, we are still unknown but it is risky, I'm forced to wear the hood all the time now to hide my face.

"When do you wanna visit Peggy? Don't try to decelerate it, otherwise it's gonna be too late." I remind him and his face tenses up. It took us a while to be emotionally stable for looking after our old friends but after a few weeks, we managed to do it. As expected, almost everyone of them is dead except Peggy. I also read Howard's file. He died on the 16th December, 1991. And it honestly wasn't a big pleasure to read the big, red word 'deceased' on his file. I can't believe that he died through a simple car accident.

"I know. I just... the last time I talked to her was when the plane was about to crash. It's kinda hard." He mumbles and I sigh, placing my hand on his arm to comfort him.

"I'm sorry that I've never asked you about Peggy, how you suffered because you lost her." I apologize for my selfish behavior. He has always taken care of me while I've been too self-centered to return the favor.

"You shouldn't be, you had your reasons. You lost your baby." His words stab me, even though he doesn't mean to hurt me with them. Steve notices the pained expression on my face and nudges me slightly. "I have an idea where we should go now."

"Back to the Stark Tower? They're waiting for us. And I swear, if Tony calls me again just to remind me of the lack of technical knowledge I own, I'm gonna attack him." I mutter half angrily and Steve grins slightly, shaking his head.

"It's another place. Come on." He motions for me to follow him and we put on our disguises again. And with disguises, I mean fake glasses and a hoodie, it's really ridiculous but sadly necessary. With silence, he leads me through the streets of New York to our unknown destination as we drown among the crowd as nobodies. I sort of have adjusted to the futuristic atmosphere but I still have to catch up with a lot. Frowning in confusion, I look around when we arrive at a small alley between a bank and a coffee shop.

"What are we doing here?"

"It took me a while to figure out where it is because they kept renewing every single part of New York since the forties but with Tony's help, I finally found it." He explains with a smile. "This is the alley where we met. Where you first met me and Bucky."

"What... " The word escapes my lips and I look back to the alley. Everything has changed, the wall isn't made of bricks anymore and the dumpsters look different but the memories bring the details from the past back. It's still the same feeling. A little smile appears on my lips. "I still remember how those douchebags bullied you, your tiny version, and I tried to save your ass. In the end, Bucky saved us."

"He always did." Steve's sad face hurts me and I sigh, suddenly taking interest in the Brooklyn ground. No matter how many times he tells me that it's not my fault, I will forever feel guilty about Bucky's death. "You know, we never had a funeral for Bucky."

"Because he was just dead for a week before we left for our last mission. And I don't know how to throw a funeral without the most important person." I shrug and the sorrow in Steve's eyes is replaced with caress, the corners of his lips go up. He takes my hand, squeezing it slightly.