Take Me back to the Start | B. Barnes

| The Winter Soldier |

2014

"Bucky! Hang on and grab my hand! I promise I won't let you go!" My shout echoes through the mountains as I try to reach his hand. I have to reach his hand, I have to, otherwise he's gonna... he's gonna- "NOOO!!!" Bucky screams in fear and falls into death, his hand still outstretched for me.

"No!" I flinch and wake up, my eyes widened, staring at the bland ceiling of the apartment. My chest goes up and down, avariciously capturing the air in my lungs until my mind functions enough to release it. My back and forehead bathe in sweat and anxiety and I start to calm down, instinctively grabbing the dog tag around my neck to find a steady halt. Looking at the clock, I groan slightly at the time. It's 8am, I've only got three hours sleep. "Insomnia and a nightmare again."

Standing up, I let out a sigh when I see my empty room of the Washington apartment. It's plain and doesn't make me feel like home. Not that I'd have one, but I felt even more comfortable during my time at the Stark Tower which is now the Avengers Tower. I leave the cage of a room and walk through the corridor, feeling the lonely silence. "Steve? Are you here?"

On the chest of drawer, I find my phone again which is right next to a note from Steve.
Hey, I'm on a SHIELD mission with Natasha again, I'll probably be back at noon. Actually, I texted you about my absence but I'm pretty sure you forgot that you even own a phone. Hope you have a good day and call me if you need me.
-Steve

I sigh when I read his message, he's been lately on more missions than usual. Maybe because the mundane life is nothing for the soldier which is understandable. After everything we've seen, it's sort of hard to get used to banal things. I cringe when my phone suddenly rings loudly like a warning alarm and I groan when I read the name of the caller on the screen. Taking the phone, I answer annoyed. "What now, Tony?"

"Do you know what I also hated about my father?" Tony starts complaining without greeting me. "How damn arrogant the old man was. He was such a jerk, I don't even get why my mom fell in love with him. It's a miracle that he'd never cheated on her. But still, he was a cold- hearted, arrogant ass. Can you imagine someone being so arrogant?"

"You have no idea." I fake a smile and sigh, questioning why he's been calling me so often lately. Bruce is probably tired of the forced and involuntary therapy sessions where he keeps falling asleep.

"Oh, right. You used to work with him." He misunderstands my reference and I roll my eyes as I walk into the bathroom to get ready for my daily routine.

"Seriously, Tony, why are you calling me? When I told you that you can talk to me about Howard whenever you want, I didn't mean gossiping, rather actually feelings."

"Well, I feel annoyed by my dad!" He interjects with conviction. "Ugh, whatever. He turned into an ass after your death, you didn't know Stark industries' Howard Stark."

"You know what annoys me? That you didn't call me for help when those terrorists, the Mandarine or whatever his name was, tried to kill you, there was literally an article about your assumed death because you seriously had to give terrorists your damn address. What were you even thinking when you did that?" I mention the incident around Christmas last year and remember that Fury wanted to send me to Stark for help but the billionaire refused.

"That I was damn badass." He responds casually and suspects that I'm gonna ask more about the terrorists. "You know what? Gotta go, there is this thing that I'm currently on, so bye."