Don't Talk About It

Trigger

I shut my eyes as soon as he pulled that trigger. I was grinding on my teeth like I've never done so before. I hear yelling, I opened my eyes back up and take a look at myself. I was clean. Or so I thought. I turn around slowly and there he was. Blood everywhere, guts everywhere. He was dead. Steve was dead. I stand still, just looking at his body. I couldn't look at his face, because it wasn't there. I couldn't hear much. I think I lost my hearing on one side of my ear. I could see Zay though. He was shaking me, trying to get me to look at him and get back into reality. So I do.
Zay - Riley!?
I look up to him
Zay - Are you okay? Are you hurt.
I shake my head no
Zay - Hey, it's going to be okay?
How could he say that? It wasn't going to be okay.
Zay - Come here, come on.
He holds my hand and pulls me to sit down. He starts pulling my hair, I think he was trying to wipe some of the blood off of it. It was a bad day to wear my hair down.
I look around, I was trying to find Lucas. I notice he was standing in front of Steves body. Zay walks over and pulls Lucas next to me. I didn't know it before but, Lucas was standing behind Steve. He saw everything, he had everything on him. He was covered in steves blood. I guess Ronnie had fled the scene after he shot Steve, he wasn't in the room anymore.
Like I said before, I wasn't thinking at all. I look over to Lucas. He was such in shock. It scared me. So I get up, and I walk out the door. I can hear Zay call out my name but I just keep on walking. I assumed he stayed behind in the classroom to keep Lucas safe. He's a good friend, he's always been a good friend. I close the door behind me and look around the hallway. Books were on the floor, backpacks left behind. And two bodies, not to far from each other, were laying there. The way to the first floor was towards the dead bodies, so I had to pass them. I knew the bodies. It was the captain of the football team, Jackson and his girlfriend of six months Angie. I think Jackson was shot first, he was laying in front of Angie's body. I pass by them and make my way down stairs. As I'm walking down stairs, I see Ronnie. He was walking in front of me. He turns around because he heard me. Yup you guessed it, Clumsy Riley made a noise. He held his gun up but when he saw it was me, he put it down.
Ronnie - You really shouldn't be out here Riley.
Riley - I'm worried about you.
Ronnie - You are?
I shake my head yes. I see blood on his clothes and hands so I ask him...
Riley - Are you hurt?
As I'm looking at his clothes
Ronnie - No.
Riley - Ronnie, why are you doing this?
Ronnie - These people, these monsters they made me do this!
Riley - Who?
Ronnie - All of those "cool kids". They think they're so much better than everyone else. They think they're royalty. They think that they can just push everyone around! They can't! Not anymore anyway.
Riley - They bullied you?
Ronnie - I wouldn't be doing this if they wanted to be my friend.
Riley - But, how did I not see this? How could people let this happen to you?
I was so confused. I didn't understand how people could bully someone and not say anything about it. I didn't understand how this school could just let people bully others.
Ronnie - You're too busy with your own problems that you don't see what's happening in the world. You don't see that people get bullied. You don't see the way people treat each-other
He was right. The world doesn't revolve around me. It's not all about me. God how can I be so damn selfish?
Riley - I'm so sorry Ronnie.
Ronnie - You were the only one that was nice to me.
Riley - This needs to stop. People are dying, people are going to walk out of here with PTSD. Come on, let's go outside. Let's work this out. I'll help you Ronnie.
Ronnie - I don't need help. I'll stop when every single one of those "popular kids" are dead.