Don't Talk About It

Zay

The video continues to play.
Zay is shown, he's in his room at his house. He's sitting down on the floor, looking at the camera.
Zay - Originally we planned on recording our stories on tapes instead of video. But after the shooting, we decided to redo it and make a video instead. Mr. Mathews asked the five of us a very serious question. "What happened to us?" And the answer to that is, I'm not really sure. I think it was a variety of things that influenced our groups breakup. And to be honest I don't entirely know what those reasons are. I was in my own world at the time. When I came to New York, I was scared. I didn't show it, but I was scared. I hadn't talked to my best friend in months because I was the one who got him kicked out of our old school. I was afraid of getting rejected. At first I did get rejected, which I expected. What I didn't expect was to have an amazing groups of friends. I saw Maya first, and I instantly loved her personality. She didn't care what others thought of her, or so I thought she didn't care. I got to know her and observed the way she acted and I realized something. She cares what others think about herself, but she cares more as to what her family thinks of her, of what her friends think of her. I then saw Riley. Let me tell you, Riley is a ray of sunshine.
I smile at the video.
Zay - You look at her and you automatically feel happy, it's really weird. Then Farkle. I couldn't believe his father named him Farkle. Who does that to a person? It's such a weird unique name. Then I found that, that is exactly what Farkle is. Weird and unique. He's funny, caring, smart, and he always knows how to say the right thing at the right time. I've been hiding a secret for a vey long time. The only people who know about this is my family, which is unusual because in this situation that I'm in, it's normal for friends to know before family. And that is that im gay. At first I thought it was a phase, but then I started to date girls. So I forgot about it. I meet knew people in New York, guys. And I got confused again until I talked to my mom about it. She was very understanding and not judgmental at all. She told me do you think hes cute? I said he's attractive. She said, does he make you laugh? I said yes. She said, does he make you smile? I said yes. She said, then give it a try. You'll never know who youll end up liking unless you find out. So I did, and I found out that I liked him, not as a friend, but more than that. I started to go on dates with this guy, and I wanted to tell my friends but I couldn't. I tried, but nothing came out. I think I was scared that my best guy friends, Farkle and Lucas, would start to feel weird around me and would eventually stop being my friend. So I kept it in for three years until one night, we were all at a party. And Lucas walked in on me and my date. I was right, he felt weird about it. But then he told me he didn't care. When he said that I felt relieved. I felt like I can actually tell my friends about this. But I didn't. I told him to not talk about it. I told them all to forget it because it was nothing. I was wrong. I didn't feel like myself around my friends anymore. I'm tired of not feeling myself in my life. Which is why I'm saying it loud and proud. I am gay. And I hope my friends will be okay with it.
He takes a pause, and squints he's eyes, and raised his eyebrows showing his wrinkles on his forehead.
Zay - On second thought, I know they'll be okay with it. In fact, they'll be more ham okay with it. They'll be going to gay pride every year with me.
He smiles as he looks down and then gets up and shuts off the camera.