All The Queen's Horses {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Pillow Talk

Chapter 56 – Pillow Talk

By the time we entered the hotel room, my trembling had become full-blown shaking. The events of the day kept circling through my mind like a never-ending movie clip. My thoughts drifted to the moment I held that nameless vampire's head in my hand, right after I had jerked it free from his body.

I had actually killed someone.

Self-defense or not, it didn't matter, because the man was still dead. I wondered if he had a family. Everyone had someone who cared about them. And I had destroyed him.

I shuddered hard from head to toe.

Myrnin's soft voice interrupted my traumatic thoughts, "Come, Cariad."

I held his hand like it was a lifeline to my sanity, and followed him silently into the bathroom. I must look horrendous and automatically turned to look at my reflection in the mirror. "No," Myrnin stopped me, and firmly focused me away from the image I was certain would have haunted me forever, had I been able to see myself in that moment.

He leaned down and released the faucet, allowing a stream of water to flow from the showerhead. Turning back to me, he didn't bother to lift my sports bra over my head. Instead he simply tore it down the middle and let it fall away. His hands found my hips and he gently slid my shorts down my legs. I stepped out of them, thankful to be free of the blood-soaked clothes.

I waited as he quickly dispensed of his own ruined clothing and followed him into the shower. The water cascaded over our bodies, causing a crimson-stained pool at our feet.

He picked up the body wash and began with my face, cleaning away the blood of an unknown number of dead vampires. In our earlier frenzy, I had lost count of how many vampires died around me, their blood spraying in all directions. As Myrnin finished each section, he leaned down to kiss my skin: my forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips.

His touch wasn't sexual.

It was healing.

"Turn around, Cariad."

I did as he said, facing my body away from him. I heard him lift and then return the shampoo bottle in place, before his hands worked the liquid into my hair. His fingers massaged my scalp, carefully cleaning out the dried bits of blood and then settled me under the water to rinse the soap away. He repeated the process with another round of shampoo and then conditioner, all the while murmuring quiet reassurances of his love.

Silent tears rolled over my cheeks.

He continued down, until there was no trace of our earlier nightmare left, and then held me nestled in his arms, while the water ran comfortingly over our bodies.

"Cariad, what happened with Gwion?"

He didn't have to elaborate further for me to understand his question. He wanted to know the decision that Gwion had left up to me. Myrnin hadn't been in the room at the rave, when Gwion had threatened Ciro.

Overwhelming guilt flooded my system. I trembled and fresh tears flowed from my eyes, blurring my vision. Myrnin tightened his hold and spoke soothingly, "Cariad, no matter what you agreed to, you know I won't think less of you. I can feel your guilt. It is crushing you. I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."

I looked up and found the safety of his eyes. "I want you to know...but I just can't...." I whispered.

His fingertips touched my cheeks, lightly brushing away my tears. He murmured, "Would it be easier for me to ask Gwion?"

I exhaled and nodded, thankful he understood, and rested my head against his chest. I was desperate for him to fix it as well, but I just couldn't talk about it. Not yet.