Reaching for Rebecca

Chapter 74

REBECCA'S POV

Eventually Mason finally leaves Kate alone and steals Ryan from me to go play some sports game on the Xbox... regardless, I'm happy now since Kate and I get some time to gossip!

"How do you think the Landon-Bentley thing is coming along?" she asks while hopping onto her bed and motioning for me to join her.

"I'm not sure... I know they'd hit it off but Landon's fighting it and Bentley isn't the most patient person. I hope he asks her to homecoming though I don't think it's likely." Kate nods her head sadly.

"I don't think so either. Would she go with anyone else?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I start braiding my hair to keep my hands busy before replying. "I think if somebody asked her then she would but I know she wants to go with Landon. They've hung out with Ryan and me a lot and seem to get along okay – yesterday he even was texting her and put pizza aside for her!"

"I saw that! He heated it up for her too!!!" She beamed in excitement and the bed bounced a little bit from her not being able to contain it. "That's a good sign at least." I nod along and know I won't have to wait long for Kate to change the subject. "How are you and Ryan doing?"

"Uhm, good. We've gotten a lot closer in the past week. I'm just so grateful to have him." Kate's eyes were suspicious but she didn't press the issue. I know Mason probably told her some of my story and I don't blame him for that because I can't keep anything from Ryan, but I was a little bit embarrassed about it. Adding that to the fact that I didn't know how much she knew was making me want to jump over the topic yet she deserved better than that. "Kate," I start, "I want to share my story with you but it's hard to... I know Mason told you some of it and that's fine with me. I give him permission to pass on the whole story but it's too hard for me to repeat again."

"That's okay Becca." She wrapped her hands around my shoulders and pulled me in for a tight hug. "He told me a little bit when you had to leave during movie night and I kind of connected the dots myself. You don't have to tell me and I promise nobody else will ever hear it from me."

I had started having a tight-knit group of friends ever since Ryan introduced me to everyone but it felt good to make the real connections myself. I knew all these people loved and cared about me...

All of my heartfelt thoughts were put on hold when the boys waltzed into Kate's bedroom and plopped on the bed next to us. Mason embraced Kate and started whispering in her ear immediately and Ryan's strong arms wound around my middle to pull me into his hard chest.

"I missed you baby." His voice was husky as he whispered into my ear and made my heart rate increase rapidly. His hands ran up and down my arms, giving me shivers that only got stronger when he leaned to whisper again. "Let's leave Mason and Kate alone huh?" With a small shake of my head I realized that the two were heavily making out and I didn't even notice until now. With a nod, I got up and walked with Ryan to the guest bedroom quietly.

"Ryan," I said at a normal decibel as soon as we reached our temporary room. "I love you." He chuckles a bit and gets ready for bed.

"I love you too Becs. Do you know how much?"

"How much?" He sauntered over in just a pair of athletic shorts and pushed me back onto the bed.

"I want to kiss you and never stop. I want to feel your tongue dancing with mine. I want to feel your heart beating faster." He kept whispering these things while lightly kissing my neck. His hands explored the area just under my shirt by my abdomen and I was surprisingly okay with that, but as soon as they went just a little higher I started to panic. Immediately sensing my apprehension, he stopped moving his hands but kept them where they were. "Becs? Are you okay hunny? I won't go any higher alright?" I couldn't answer and was fighting myself so I wouldn't wind up in a nasty flashback of the last night I was with Kirk... "Babe? Becs, look at me sweetheart. It's me, Ryan. I can move my hands away if you want me to." I shook my head no but the fright was still clear in my eyes so he moved away anyways.

"I'm sorry." Stupid tears starting leaking from my eyes and I covered my face in embarrassment.

"No, baby," his voice was sweet and nonjudgmental. "I'm so sorry I pushed you too far." He gently pulled my hands from my face and cautiously smiled when we made eye contact.

"I want to do things with you Ryan but, but it's just hard," I admitted.

"It's alright Becs. We will wait until you're ready before we do anything. I told you that sweetheart." I thought about how to resolve my problem and felt Ryan wiping my tears with his thumbs. "What is it?" he asked, sensing that I was over thinking things.

"I want to try that again. I mean I don't want to do it... I know I won't be ready for that yet but I want to do more than just kiss you."

"I don't know Becs," his hand reached around to rub at his neck so I intertwined the hand with mine to keep it down. "I feel like I'm pushing you into it. Let's just talk for awhile and go to bed... we can try again a different time when you feel ready." I figured he would be chivalrous about this but there would be no way to know I'm ready until we try different things.

Boldly, I took the hand that was wrapped around mine and brought it to my jaw line. Ryan seemed a little confused at first but quickly realized what was happening when I let go of his hand and held it down against my skin. Slowly, I helped him trace down my neck, across my sides, down to my stomach, under my shirt, and up to where my bra was covering me. He tried to pull away when I closed my eyes – misreading what I was doing.

"No," my eyes snapped open to meet his gray ones, "It worked. I'm not afraid." I removed my hand from covering him and smiled when he kept his where it was but didn't move at all.

"I don't want you to be nervous Becs. I want you to be one hundred percent ready." I laughed a bit, causing my chest to move and Ryan's eyes to darken with lust.

"I'm always going to be nervous Ryan, but it isn't a bad thing. Can you honestly tell me you aren't nervous right now?" He shook his head no but didn't move any part of his body besides that. "Ryan?"

"Yeah?"
"Kiss me." He did almost immediately and it wasn't long before his other hand pushed him up to hover over me. The hand that was under my shirt didn't move, but I felt him trying to fight his urges. "Ryan, I'm good. You don't have to be a statue." I smiled at him and finally he fully smiled back. Once his lips met mine again it was a whole different story. He never pushed it too far and remained very cautious. Yet again, I was lost in how amazing my boyfriend was and how much he cared. It truly was a magical feeling.

After making out for a little while longer, my handsome man smiled at me with closed eyes, told me he loves me, and cuddled me all night long.