Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Men Tell No Tales SPOILER ALERT

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by killingkilgrave

by killingkilgrave

SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. OR, BASICALLY IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED ANY OF THIS FRANCHISE TBH

This kinda ended up being a bit longer than I first intended it on being...

OKAY!! I've finally watched the new PotC movie!! I went to watch it with my cousin, and it was great!

Not as great as the first three though, but I wasn't expecting it to be better than the first three. It was definitely better than the fourth though.

Okay, but... my captain died... again... I mean, at least it was sacrificing himself so he died for something, but I'm still upset about my captain dying. He was old as fuck though...

Just to clarify, Captain Hector Barbossa is my favorite character, and I'm so glad he was reunited with his monkey, Jack, at last.

I'm actually a little disappointed that Elizabeth didn't even say ANYTHING in what little screen time that she got, but I'm glad that my wife at least was in the movie. (I realize that I called Elizabeth my wife. I love her a lot okay?? Plus, Keira Knightley is fucking gorgeous -- I've already posted something about her in this before)

Moving on...

Random, but Will kinda sounds different from how he does in the first three... Probably cause he's meant to be cursed and older, but whatever.

I LOVED the Willabeth moments in this, and Jack's reaction to Will and Elizabeth's reunion. Also, his reaction to when Henry Turner told Jack who his parents were. Honestly, I almost had tears in my eyes at the Willabeth reunion - and that usually doesn't happen, I probably had tears in my eyes after Barbossa died though.

Okay, but Jack the monkey's reaction when Barbossa didn't come back onto the Pearl with Sparrow, Carina, and Henry. And, I guess now Sparrow owns Jack? Maybe? It kinda seemed like Jack claimed Sparrow as his owner now at the end. Though, pretty sure Sparrow still hates the monkey.

Still disappointed that Pintel and Ragetti weren't in this one... But Gibbs and Marty were in it from the original crew, so that's all good. Though, wasn't Cotton's parrot on the Black Pearl with Jack the monkey when the ship was stuck in the bottle? Pretty sure in one part of the fourth movie I saw Cotton's parrot in the bottle with Jack the monkey, but idk... Actually, what even happened to Cotton? I mean, Marty obviously escaped the Pearl when Blackbeard did whatever it was to the Pearl when Barbossa lost it before the events of the fourth movie, so what about Cotton?

Okay, if Barbossa is Carina's father, then how old is she? I'm assuming she's around the same age as Henry, but still. Barbossa is actually technically old enough to be her grandfather, if she is around the same age as Henry that is. Barbossa is meant to be like, 70-80? I think I worked that out about right from the last time I checked the PotC Wiki page. Though, take into consideration that he'd probably appear to be ten years younger than he really is -was- because of being cursed for ten years. Though, I guess considering the Pirates movies are set in the 1700s, that's not too weird? Eh...

Bloody hell, I don't think I've ever seen Captain Jack Sparrow as drunk as he was in the beginning of the movie, holy shit. I guess that explains his weird behaviour in the trailers then... Also, why am I not surprised that he's a bed wetter?

Okay, how old was Jack meant to be in the flash back thing? I've heard somewhere - not sure where, maybe the PotC Wiki - that he became captain at like, 25, but he didn't exactly look 25 there, ish.

Also, I'm kinda disappointed that none of the movies actually cover Jack and Cutler Beckett's history, of when Jack worked for him or whatever and he was ordered to transport slaves and Jack decided against that, and set the slaves free, and steal the ship. Resulting in Beckett branding Jack as a pirate, and burning and sinking his ship, the Wicked Wench - that Beckett gave Jack command of - to the bottom of the ocean floor. If they actually added that into one of the movies, it would explain why Jack had made a deal with Davy Jones in the first place to bring the Wicked Wench back - that Jack renamed to the Black Pearl, I think he renamed her to the Black Pearl as when Jones resurrected her, she didn't return to how she once was before she was set aflame. It would also explain the Pearl's supernaturalish speed, and also the whole 100 souls thing in the Dead Mans Chest movie when Jack and Jones made that agreement.

I mean, all of that was meant to be touched upon in the At Worlds End movie, but the scene was cut. There's a deleted scene - well, extended scene really - of it though. It was supposed to be in the part when Jack is taken to see Beckett.

Okay, back onto Dead Men Tell No Tales...

Barbossa's reaction to when that witch asked him if it might be time for him to retire to the country side or whatever though. "Like, on grass?" - I can't remember exactly what it was he said, but yeah.

Also, Paul McCartney, even though he only had one tiny scene, he was still great in it.

Captain Salazar, I'm not actually quite sure what to say about him really. He looked awesome though, so did his crew. I guess he was a good villain, but honestly, Davy Jones is still the best villain in this franchise, and I kinda want to see more of Jones. Though, with the way the end credit scene went, maybe we might just get that.

Alright, but, they managed to remove all the curses of the sea... So, Will is no longer cursed... Honestly, I'm not so sure that was a very good idea in a way... That whole thing has surely affected Davy Jones as well, even though he did die... I mean, that was definitely Jones in the end credit scene, and I don't think it was just Will's dream, cause, there was barnacles and sea water on the floor... Idk, but breaking all the curses of the sea is surely going to have some sort of bad aftermath to occur because of it...

Though, if Will is no longer cursed and bound to the Flying Dutchman, who is supposed to take those who die at sea to the other side?

Alright, this is all I'm gonna say about the movie, but I really do hope that there's going to be a sixth movie, as the end of this one definitely ended in a way that there's gonna be more to it. Especially with Jones in the end credit scene.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and write some Sparbossa, because feels. Or maybe I'll write some Willabeth. I don't ship Sparrabeth, sorry. It's Willabeth and Sparbossa for me.

~ Candy can now surf through the internet without worrying about those dreaded PotC 5 spoilers