I'm your cure [Luke Hemmings au]

Chapter Twenty Eight

To the only important thing in my life,

I'm sorry. I tried. And I failed beyond all proportions. And for that, I am truly sorry. So here I am again. Sitting on the bathroom floor, crying with a pen in my hand and I have to try and convince you how much you mean to me.

Everything. That's what you mean to me. And I love everything about you. The way your hair smells of strawberries, the way you scrunch your nose when you sneeze. The way you wrap your sleeves around your hands and snuggle them up to your face. The way your eyes light up when you see something or someone that means a lot to you, the way you look when you're reading a book and you're lost in a new reality. The way you look so beautiful when you're asleep, and when you're awake too. You look beautiful always. The way your hand feels so right in mine, the way your touch makes all the bad stuff go away. The way your body fits mine perfectly and I can pull you into my chest and hold you tight, and the way I can make you feel safe and protected. I love every inch of you Caitlyn, every curve, every mark, every freckle, every scar, I love you.

I've missed you. So much. I've missed waking up with my arms around you, I've missed our lazy days and when things were normal. I wish I could make it all go away, but I don't know how to get back to where we started. I'm scared. Of what is going to happen now. If i leave you, i can't protect you. Just remember that i love you, forever and always. I will always be thinking of you. I promise you that you will never leave my mind, i will never forget you. I just hope you don't forget me. I hope you have an amazing life, and you achieve everything you are capable of because i know how much it means to you. Don't listen to other people, become the person you want to be. It's your life right?

I promise you, this is not because of you. Never blame yourself. Please. Because i did with Kyle and i know i shouldn't have. I know i'm not leaving in the same way as him, but i am still leaving. I don't know where i'm going, but i will get there. It was such a horrible mistake. I'm sorry for all of my mistakes. For putting you in danger over in Australia on our first date. For losing you and trying something just to satisfy my own mind. For abandoning you when you needed me most. For cheating on you. I don't expect you to forgive me. I just want you to know that i am truly sorry. 

I promise you one more thing. You will be okay. I know you will, you're strong enough. And maybe one day i will see you again. I hope i do. I will miss you every waking day, and i know you'll be in my dreams as much as you are now. I never want to forget your face. Michael gave me some of the polaroid photos you guys took so i could see you. And i have ones of us. I left you some, because i just want you to remember, I need you to remember. 

I will try and find you. I have a feeling i will see you again and i don't know why. And perhaps then, when we meet. We can be two brand new people. And we can find ourselves in each other again and this time it will work. This time we can have our happy ever after, just like in your books.

I love you princess. Stay safe. Keep your head high. Be yourself. And never stop dreaming. 

With all my love, Luke x

p.s. I left you some things. If you go look in the top drawer of my bedside table. Everything in there is now yours. And the photos in the envelope.