Love Between Us

Chapter 35

It's funny how life works out.

One moment you are so happy that you feel like nothing could go wrong.

Until of course everything does go wrong.

And that one moment of happiness is taken right from you.

I stare at the bags of drugs I had in my hand along with the rest on the floor in front of me. It seemed as if he had a little bit of everything. And from what I could see, there was an abundance of marijuana, Xanax, what I am assuming to be ecstasy, and other stuff that I couldn't identify but knew it was just as equally bad. And it wasn't just a little amount of each. No, this was way more than that. This was the amount of not only an abuser but...a seller. I fall back, unable to fully process my own thoughts.

Zane was a drug dealer or he was abusing drugs.

Or he was doing both.

Either way both thoughts left a bad feeling in my stomach. I feel as if all of the air had left my body, leaving me a panting mess. I leaned against the wall for support, unable to believe this. The uneasiness in my stomach grew so much that I was sure I could throw up and my anger began to build so high that my eyes prickled from the tears that threatened to spill onto my cheeks. I try to make sense of this, trying to understand the when and how. And that's when the pieces slowly start to come together. I was furious. I was heartbroken. And that was never a good combination.

All of the lies, all of the reasons he was so busy with stuff, the reason he spent so much time with Shane and his other friends, the reason random boys at school would approach him and he would leave with them to do whatever, the reason for his unpredictable behavior, the times he looked so sick, the reason he was late for my charity event was all because he was on drugs. All because of the shit sitting here in his closet and in my face.

All of the clues right in my face this whole time and I still missed it.

I dismissed them, not wanting to believe that he would do anything horrible behind my back. Telling myself that as long as he wasn't cheating on me that I could move on from it. And not only am I angry about this, but I'm angry at myself. Angry for letting him play me in the same way Will played me. They both looked me in the eyes and continued to lie to me time after time. And I forgave them each time because I wanted to avoid confrontation. Because I wanted to believe that they loved me too much to hurt me.

But here I am once again.

Winded and unable to believe my eyes. Here I am once again, having to find out the truth in the most awful way. 

And what hurts the most is that he looked me in the eyes and promised me that he had nothing to do with drugs, that he would never do this to me.

Flashback

"Zane, you aren't doing anything...crazy with your friends, are you?" I peek up at him. Might as well get it out in the open instead of hiding it and driving myself insane with the thoughts.

"What do you mean by crazy?"

"Well I remember you said that you had to stop hanging out with your friends for a while because they were bad influences."

"Okay...?"

"And you said you did a lot of bad things with them. And by bad I mean drugs...and stuff."