Determinant: One choice will change everything

Chapter 33: Tris - Explosion

Chapter 33: Tris – Explosion

"I think some of us should try to rescue Amar." The moment I say it, I know Tobias sees right through to the guilt squirming inside me. It's not the only thing motivating me, not like it was when I went to Erudite. But I can't deny it's there. My actions caused whatever Pari and Amar have suffered today.

And it doesn't just affect them. I saw the look on Tobias' face earlier, when he figured out why I returned alone. Amar is his friend – one of the only people he truly trusts and respects. And I may have killed him. Tobias won't blame me out loud, of course, but the proof is in his actions. He hasn't touched me since then.

"You're being foolish," Marcus states coldly. "Amar wants us to finish the mission he started. You know that, Beatrice."

"Yes," I snap at him, "I do. But I also know that we're less likely to succeed if we rush. And the main reason we need to rush is because Amar was captured. If we can rescue him, we buy time to do this right, or to try again if we fail tonight. That's not foolish."

There's a pause while the others digest this. Then, Cara nods thoughtfully. "I'm inclined to agree. It's dangerous to risk everything in one effort, particularly when there's so much at stake."

Uriah looks like he might agree too, but before he can respond, Tobias shakes his head. "We don't know enough to go after Amar," he says in a low voice. "We have no idea where he is, or how well guarded he is."

He looks at me for confirmation, and I reluctantly admit, "That's true...but I doubt there will be many guards. They probably only capture one person at a time, and judging by what Amar said, most prisoners will stop fighting the moment they're given a high dose of serum. I bet they don't have more than a handful of guards."

Christina gives me a you're showing your Erudite look. "That's all very logical," she comments, "but it's still just a guess. And we still don't know where they are. So, I'm not liking the odds."

"It's not hard to find them," I start to protest, but I stop as Tobias tenses up next to me. Our eyes meet, and I can tell that he's piecing together exactly what I'm suggesting. He knows me too well.

"You want to turn yourself in," he says bitterly, "so they'll take you to where Amar is, and someone can follow." I look down, nodding very slightly.

"It's the most sensible option," I explain before he can object. "With my hands like this, I can't hold a gun well, but I can play 'prisoner' just fine."

"No," he says fiercely. "I will not watch you walk into another situation like that."

"It's not like Erudite," I insist. "We know what to expect this time. Amar already told us what they'll do to me, and that I'm immune to it. And I can fool them like he suggested – make them think the serum has worked when it hasn't. I won't be in any real danger at first, not for a while. And if someone follows me, they can work on breaking in from the outside while Amar and I attack from the inside. It stands a good chance of working."

But Tobias shakes his head adamantly. "Tris, we need you at the Control Computer. You can't go throwing yourself away like this!"

The words make me angry. He tells me that I have good ideas, that we should use them to help others, and then he refuses to listen the moment I suggest something that puts me in danger. As if I'm a little girl who needs to be protected. My hands automatically try to ball into fists, and the sharp pain from my injuries just adds to my frustration.

"It's not throwing myself away! It's helping Amar – and our mission."

"No, it's not!" he snarls. "There are at least eight guards between us and the Control Computer, and only nine of us. The odds are already bad. How does it 'help' to go with only half that number while the other half chase after Amar?"