Determinant: One choice will change everything

Chapter 37: Tris - Sacrifice

Chapter 37: Tris - Sacrifice

I wonder if the Dauntless ever noticed that it's easier to ignore pain when you're afraid? Probably not. It would be too much like admitting that there's a type of strength in fear, and they're absolutely determined to believe that no good can come from it. But as the soldiers pull me along between them, I find myself much more worried about what's ahead than I'd like to admit, and I almost forget the burning in my ribs during that time.

The fear gets worse as we walk, and it's not just because of what's ahead. It's also because of where we're heading. We seem to be making a beeline for the building with the Control Computer. It never occurred to me before that NUSA might question their prisoners there, but now that I think about the possibility, it makes sense. They would obviously have the right equipment there, and the people to control it. But if that's true, it means I'm bringing a dozen soldiers to where my friends are, right as they're in the middle of the most important part of our mission. I can't let that happen.

For a couple of blocks, I seriously consider making a break for it. There aren't many possible outcomes, after all. I could die, in which case the soldiers might go searching for Amar and Cara. Or I could get away and lead them off. Or I could fail, and nothing would change.

I'm about ready to risk it when we finally start veering south, giving me hope that we're going somewhere else after all. Three blocks later, to my enormous relief, the soldiers pull me into the other building we spent the last few days observing. Of course. It's owned by the government too.

Inside the entrance, my guards shift so we're walking single file as we pass through a room filled with strange equipment. I've never seen anything like this before, with long conveyor belts and arches that are not much bigger than a large adult. It's hard to imagine what all this is used for, but I'm glad that it's silent and unmanned right now. On top of everything else, it looks downright frightening, and I almost shudder as my captors push me through one of the arches and into the lobby beyond it.

I don't notice much about the lobby, since the soldiers surround me the moment we step into it, and their tall forms block my view on all sides. But I'm glad when they lug me over to the bank of elevators instead of a stairway. I don't want a repeat of being hauled up the stairs. The pain from the last set is still far too fresh in my mind.

We get off the elevator on the fourteenth floor, and my captors pull me down a series of long hallways. I catch glimpses of white walls and closed metal doors as we pass. The lights overhead flicker a little, casting an eerie reflection on the ugly green tile beneath my feet, and I can't help but remember being dragged through another set of long hallways in another building a lifetime ago. I don't want to do this.

Eventually, they shove me into a room that is an unnerving mix of the Erudite labs where I was tortured and the control simulator we used in the bomb shelter. On one side of the room stands a metal table with restraints hanging from all edges of it; it is surrounded by several smaller tables that are covered with surgical equipment. I shudder at the sight, knowing that's where they'll connect a probe to me the way they did with Amar.

I try to focus on the other side of room, hoping to find it less unsettling. But that's debatable. Two chairs sit a little apart from a computer, with wires and electrodes hanging from hooks on the walls and chairs. I know they'll connect me to that soon, as well as hooking up someone to question me. Perhaps it's because I know what's coming, or perhaps because I don't know enough about it, but to me, the entire setting screams torture.

The soldiers must have done this many times, because they don't pause for instructions before taking me to the metal table. Briefly, I think about struggling, but then they pick me up, and the pain surges so strongly that it's all I can do to gasp for air. So instead, I do my best to relax as they lay me down on the table. Focus on breathing, I remind myself as they strap restraints around every part of my body. But it's hard not to panic as they clamp my head in place.