Determinant: One choice will change everything

Chapter 19: Tris - Best Laid Plans

Chapter 19: Tris – Best Laid Plans

Christina, Uriah, and I take turns working with Cara on fighting techniques. It's odd to see someone from Erudite having so much difficulty grasping a subject, but I should know by now that intelligence doesn't make everything easy. Eventually, Uriah's patient repetition works, and Cara develops a passable level of skill in a few techniques. I try to tell myself it will be enough.

As I'm watching them spar yet again, I notice Tori looking at the "wall of weapons," as we've taken to calling it. For a moment, I think about how unlikely it is that we'll both survive the next week, and I realize that I need to at least try to mend our relationship before I leave. After everything she's done for me, I can't do otherwise. So, I walk over and stand beside her. We both look at the weapons.

"Hi," I say in my best attempt at a casual voice. It comes out tight and tense.

Tori glances at me, but then her eyes return to the guns. After what seems like a very long time, she asks, "Did Four calm down?"

"From when?" I ask curiously. I'm not trying to be smart – I'm just not certain when she last saw him – but her mouth curves with amusement.

"He does walk that line between calm and angry a lot, doesn't he?"

I shrug a little, not sure how to answer that statement. He doesn't usually seem angry to me.... But I seem to be the only one who sees the gentler side of him, so I decide to change the subject.

"You're helping to defend the city, aren't you?"

"Yes," she answers, directing her gaze at me more solidly now. "It took me a while to buy into all this, but I finally believe the danger is real." She gives a half shrug. "So, I guess I need to do my part, despite the bum leg and all." My stomach squirms uncomfortably. Does she blame me for that?

She must read the guilt in my face, because she sighs and says, "It's not entirely your fault – I was shot, after all. And I suppose when it comes down to it...I should have listened when you tried to stop me in Jeanine's lab. You'd earned that."

The statement makes me angry, because it's true. After everything I did to help Dauntless, I had earned the right to have its leaders listen to me. But I'm here to patch things up with Tori, so I grit my teeth and try to let the anger slide. It's difficult.

She gives me an evaluating look and finally suggests, "How about we call a truce?"

"A truce?" I weigh the word for a moment, trying to fit the concept into everything I've learned in my life.

Abnegation always taught that we have to give of ourselves completely, so a truce had no place there – only forgiveness, a total surrender to the other person's needs. And I'm not ready to do that, at least not yet. But a truce implies something different – setting the past aside for now and moving forward together. A fresh start. And as I look at Tori, the woman who kept me alive through initiation, I think maybe I can do that.

I nod, and the corners of Tori's mouth lift in response as she offers her hand to me Dauntless-style. I've never been good at shaking hands, but I give it my best shot. She has the grace to act like it was a good handshake.

"I do wish you luck, by the way," she comments. "I don't know a whole lot about what you're doing, but George says it's important. I hope it goes well."

"I take it you're talking to him again?"

"Yeah.... It's always been hard to stay mad at him." Her face turns serious again as she adds, "And it's not like I wanted him dead. I was just...angry about how much of my life I wasted on revenge."