Determinant: One choice will change everything

Chapter 18: Tobias - Consequences

Chapter 18: Tobias – Consequences

We spend the next couple of hours practicing with the mock Control Computer. It quickly becomes obvious that Tris is better at sending broadcasts than I am. I can relay information without a problem, but I'm told that my messages lack the intensity to make people believe me if they're not already inclined to. Tris, on the other hand, seems able to convince everyone of anything she chooses. I can't say that surprises me.

Once she's consistently transmitting the message correctly, Tris goes downstairs to train some more with the others, while I keep practicing. The longer we continue, the more annoyed I become, and while I succeed in transmitting that particular feeling very well, it's debatably helpful.

Finally, Anna takes a seat beside me, pursing her lips thoughtfully. "We need a different approach," she says. "You clearly have the ability to do this, but it won't work unless you convey a strong emotion with it – something that makes people see through your eyes and agree with you. And for whatever reasons, you seem reluctant to share your feelings that way."

I don't bother answering. It's hardly a shock that I hide my feelings, after growing up in a faction where emotions were considered selfish and a household where the only sentiments I saw were anger and fear.

"I'd suggest," Anna says after a moment, "that for now, you transmit whatever message or memory you want – anything strong – to whoever you're comfortable sharing it with. That should help you get the hang of it. Maybe you'd be willing to share something with Tris that way?"

My entire body goes tense, and I shake my head automatically. It's not that I haven't shared my feelings with Tris – of course I have. It's just that they're much stronger than I've ever let her see, and I'm afraid of scaring her off. She grew up in Abnegation too, after all, and she still struggles with intimacy. There's no way I'm going to blast her with emotion in order to master this machine.

"Okay," Anna says with a sigh. "Then, maybe there's someone you'd like to send a...less positive message to?"

She's obviously referring to Marcus, but that's an even worse thought. I don't want to be anywhere near him, let alone be connected mind to mind in any manner. The idea makes me shudder. But it also leads me down a different path. Maybe there is one experience I could share with someone I wouldn't mind inflicting it on....

"Caleb," I say firmly. "I have something to show him."

Anna looks hesitant, and I remember that he's her grandson, but she must value the mission more than that relationship, because she nods reluctantly. "Okay," she says. "I'll have someone get him."

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Caleb is clearly nervous as they connect him to the receiving computer. "What are you going to show me?" he asks, his eyes wide as they meet mine.

I give him a hard look, debating whether or not to answer, and then I respond simply, "Consequences." After a few seconds, I add, "If you want to come with us, you'll listen and try to learn. I assume that Erudite brain of yours is capable of that?" He nods, swallowing hard.

Once he's connected, I look at the others and say sternly, "You'll need to wait outside. No one else watches this." That seems to make Caleb even more nervous, and I see the others exchanging worried looks, but Anna escorts them from the room without debate.

I reconnect myself to the sending computer and sit there for a moment, trying to compose my thoughts. But there's no real preparation for this, so I take a deep breath and fill my mind with the memory that's haunted me for the last two weeks.