Determinant: One choice will change everything

Epilogue: Tobias - Anniversary

Epilogue: Tobias – Anniversary

The kids have never been to Philadelphia. They've never seen a crowd this large, let alone seen their parents speak to it. And it's clear they don't know what to make of any of this.

Abigail sticks close to me, despite the fact that virtually our whole faction is here, so she has plenty of adults she knows nearby. I guess this is one of those times when a kid just wants her dad.

Eli, in the meantime, is in full meltdown mode. He slept almost the entire car ride from Chicago to here, and then he was awake most of the night in the hotel. So, now he's confused and off schedule, and he just wants to cling to his mother. But Tris is coordinating her speech with President Miller, so he's having to settle for me. And from the way he's thrashing in my arms and screaming at the top of his lungs, it's clear he's not happy about it.

"It's okay, Eli," Abigail says soothingly, reaching out in an attempt to stroke his head.

She's such a good big sister, and he normally listens to her well, so I know he must really be in a foul mood when he swats at her angrily and screams "No no no!" as loudly as he can.

"Hey," I say sharply, moving him out of reach of my daughter. "No hitting! We do not hit each other." But he just wails, and I know he's too tired and upset to be rational right now. This whole situation is a lot for a seventeen-month-old to handle, after all.

"He just needs to cry it out," I tell Abigail, trying to ease her hurt feelings. She crosses her arms and glares at him in an affronted manner before she nods stiffly.

"I'm going to walk him around a bit," I add, talking over the noise that Eli is making. "Do you want to come with me or stay with George?" She looks at George, who's standing near the others as they're being prepped for their role in tonight's ceremony. He's one of her favorite people, but apparently that's not enough right now.

"I want to go with you," she answers.

"All right," I say, "but you have to stick near me." She nods again, looking serious, and I know she'll obey. She may only be six, but she's good that way.

I pull Eli firmly against me as I start walking. He's still thrashing, but I hold his head to my chest so he can hear my heartbeat and can feel the vibrations of my voice through my body, and I bounce him in a gentle rocking motion as I begin talking in a monotone. I learned a long time ago that the words don't matter as long as I keep up a consistent rhythm and avoid mentioning names that will catch his attention. So, I do what I usually do and describe what's around us.

"There are a lot of people here, aren't there?" I say in a smooth, even tone. "There will be a lot more coming, too. They're all here to celebrate fifteen years of the UCA. That's a country, you know. Your mother and great-grandmother and uncle and...." I hesitate, not wanting to say names that will make Eli look for the people they belong to. "And most of your faction helped found this country, so we're all part of tonight's anniversary celebration."

I look around at the gathering crowd, feeling a bit nervous at the prospect of giving a speech to all these people, but I continue in a level tone. "Your great-grandmother is going to start, and then your uncle will talk, and then I'll introduce your mother, as if there's anyone who doesn't know her, and then she's going to talk, too. After that, President Miller will say something, and then he'll give medals to those of us who stopped NUSA almost sixteen years ago.

My eyes scan the crowd, moving past my faction-mates and finally catching on Peter where he's standing near Christina and Uriah. "I don't think you know Peter," I say slowly, thinking about all the roles I've seen him take in the decade and a half I've known him and trying to figure out if he interacted with the kids in any of those. I'm pretty sure he didn't.