Determinant: One choice will change everything

Chapter 34: Tobias - Boxes

Chapter 34: Tobias – Boxes

Caleb stays annoyingly close as we scout out the freight entrance. I know he's trying to be supportive in the way Abnegation drills into its children. Stay nearby but don't pry, in case the person wants to talk. But I have no desire to say anything, no desire to think.

I understand now why my father always seemed to have two selves – the monster who beat us and the man who led the city and trimmed my hair and taught me about cars and computers and Divergence. He had to separate those parts of himself. It's the only way to face the world after you've done something unforgivable.

And I form that same box inside myself now. I can't think about her sprawled against the wall, struggling to breathe after the blow I delivered. I can't even let myself say her name. All I can do is focus on the mission, on what I need to do within the next eight hours. There can't be anything beyond that or I will cease to function.

The others wait, trying to look casual, while Peter and I begin our jobs. He needs to pick out the cleaners' vehicle, and I have to locate the security cameras around the freight entrance. Fortunately, after two years of working in the Dauntless control room, I'm good at this, so it doesn't take long to find the three cameras and to figure out what areas they cover – and where there are gaps in the coverage. It will be tricky to navigate the gaps, but hopefully it's possible, depending on exactly where we need to go.

"There," Peter whispers, making a slight gesture with his chin. He's picked out a nondescript commercial van with no windows along the rear walls. It's backed into a space near the docking bay, where it's easily accessible from the building's back door. It seems like a reasonable guess.

"It will be tough to reach it," I whisper to him, looking at the cameras again even though I already have their coverage areas memorized. "Follow me closely." He nods wordlessly as I glance around to make sure no one outside our group is watching. We're clear.

To his credit, Peter does a good job of following me, staying close and keeping his limbs tucked to him the way I do, so nothing wanders into a camera's range. We work our way around the side of the van to the more hidden of its two back doors.

I take a deep breath before opening the door and climbing in quickly, Peter scurrying behind me and yanking the door shut. This is the riskiest part, since it puts us in range of one of the cameras for a few seconds. We just have to hope that it's dark enough here to obscure us, and that no one is viewing this particular camera closely at this exact moment in time. Normally, I'd feel pretty good about those odds, but with the kind of luck we've been having on this mission, I find myself tensely listening for the sound of approaching guards.

When the overhead light comes on, I actually jump before I realize that Peter turned it on. He gives me a half-hearted smirk before turning his attention to where we are. It's immediately clear that he was right about the vehicle – it's filled with cleaning supplies. We search rapidly, but it still takes us a few minutes to locate the spare uniforms. There are three of them, varying in size. It's a good start.

I take the largest outfit and give Peter the medium one, and we change quickly, ignoring the sight of each other's scars and more recent injuries.

"I'll take this one to Margot," I whisper, holding up the third uniform, which is considerably smaller than the other two. "It looks like it should fit her." Peter nods, busily collecting cleaning materials now, presumably to help his disguise.

I lead Margot to the dark area beside the van, where she's hidden from the cameras and from anyone who might pass by in the alleyway, and I turn away while she changes. She joins Peter after that, but I stay behind, watching the two of them move back and forth between the van and the back door of the building so the security guards will have time to see them. Hopefully, that will make it look like they came out of the building to get supplies and are now trying to reenter it.