Love isn't judged by Appearance

Chapter 2

Another thing that I don't like about love-well not love itself but the concept of ''Love'' that we have today, is that it's not love at all. It's hmm let me think.Lust. That's exactly what people call ''Love'' today. Lust is not love. In my dictionary Love is not the synonym for Lust. There's a thin line between Love and Lust though, but not all the love that we have out there today is based on lust. There are some people out there that don't base love all on lust. I give them thier props and respect, but I have no right at all to be talking about those who do base their love all on lust. Sorry if I did offend anyone. I can't talk because simply  I haven't experienced neither of them. So I have no room to talk at all, but I'm afraid that if I do by chance find someone my age who gives me a try all they will want is what's covered by my draws... I mean half the boys my age only have their eyes on one thing. The cookie. They want the cookie that's fresh out the oven. The one that no one has touched or even nibbled on,and when they do taste that fresh cookie they expect women to put it back in the cookie jar,secure it safely so no one can open it, while they go around tasting other womens if not fresh,but already nibbled on cookie. I just don't understand.My friend not even a month ago gave up her virginity to some boy at our school. He's one of those slick talking boys that tell you that you're beautiful,and that he wants you to be the mother of his child. Plus he is one fine looking boy! Well she let his words soothe her into having sex with him. He messed around with her then left. Left with not even a goodbye note,or I'll call you later. That Bastard!!! She was so heartbroken that she cut herself. Her mama caught her and sent her to Glenn Oaks. She's supposed to be getting out when she no longer thinks about cutting herself over a boy.Her accident just broke my heart. Because I'm afraid that I myself will do the same thing that she did. If a boy showed me some kind of attention that is. The more I think about love...the more I draw away from it.''Genesis!''

''What?'' I scream jumping up and turning around to see Kevin leaning on my door.

''What?'' I ask again.

''Did I scare you?''

''Yes,I was thinking.''

He laughs then comes and lays down beside me on my bed.''You're always thinking. Just think. Think. Think. Do something!!''

I chew on my lip.''Like what?''

''Come shoot some hoops with me outside. I need to not have a challenge for once.'' He smirks at me.

 I give him my best ''You've got to be kidding look''. Then I state the obvious.''You're going to beat me.''

''Exactly. I hinted that when I answered your question. So get up. Put some shorts on and a shirt. Don't think Gen!!'' I chunk a book at him as he walks out of my room.

Well it took me five minutes to find something to wear,and it wasn't because I couldn't find anything to wear. It was finding what was appropriate to wear. I didn't wanna show all my flab and crap. Although I know that Kev doesn't care. I care. I walk outside and he's coming up for a lay-up.''I told you not to think lil sis.'' He says as a joke. I never mentioned how fine my brother is. To other girls he's sexy. He's tall about 6'3 and isn't skinny nor phat but the joka has some serious muscles. It's to the point that when he takes off his shirt his muscles ripple. He has waves in his head. By the way I hate when a man is bald. His eyes are sort of like mine a brownish blackish color. Put it to you plain and simple my brother is attractive and he knows it. He's not cocky about it,but he knows that his looks have a spell on women.

'' Haha. Shut up. I had to find something to wear.''

''You could have just grabbed some shorts and a shirt like I said. That wouldn't have taken five minutes.''

I roll my eyes. He won't and never will understand how a girl is and feels about getting dressed.Definetly a big girl.We have to make sure the stuff fits right. Because already people are talking about you being phat. No need in adding on that you're sloppy.But Kev just wants you to throw on something. He doesn't understand the concept of ''Just because it's in your size,doesn't mean that it's for you.''My mama taught me that a long time ago. Now adays I see exactly what she was talking about.''Check.'' He says throwing me the ball.

''I thought you said we were just shooting hoops.'' I say while checking him back.

'' You knew that I didn't just mean to shoot hoops. One-One.''

''That's no fair!!!''

''Yes it is.'' He says while taking a shot. Then adds.''Come on lil sis try!!  Here I'll let you get a shot in.'' He hands me the ball. I take a try,and miss.In fact it was a fuhreaking airball I cock my eyebrows at him.'' Come on try again.''He says bouncing the ball and throwing it to me.I try again and again,but never make it. They all end up being pathetic airballs. Kevin tries not to laugh,but he does anyway.''Ok I have had enough of seeing you make a fool of yourself lil sis.'' He says patting my back. I shrug my shoulders.'' Yeah whatever.''

''It's okay sis.Have a seat let me tell you the real reason why I wanted you to shoot hoops with me.''

I nod my head.''Go on.''

'' Well you know my boy Zavian right?''

''Yeah. Why?''

He breathes a sigh and then looks at me real softly.'' What?'' I ask him.

''You know Ima give it to you real and alll without trying to hurt your feelings.'' He says. He's avoiding something. I know he is just by the way he's talking with sincerity in his voice. He then adds.'' I'm really tired of you being single and ish. I ain't gone lie. I really am. You sulk around like you're not beautiful and you are.'' I turn my head.'' Look at me.'' He turns my head back around to face his.'' You're my sister and all, and you know I wouldn't let any man hurt you. I wanna see you happy. I want you to try and talk to Zavian.'' Is he serious. No way in hell will I go out with Zavain. He's a nice dude and all but no.

''No.'' I say dropping my head to the ground.

''Why not?''

''Just no.''

''See you can't even come up with a reason as to why you won't give him a chance. You on some bs. You're gonna end up just like mama.'' His last words hurt me. He rubs my back.''Gen you know I wouldn't recommend you someone I don't trust.''

''Like mama?Really?That hurt Kev.''' I tell him tears brimming my eyes.

''Please.'' He says ignoring my comment. I just shake my head. He's pissed. He gets up and starts shooting some hoops. I queitly get up and go back into my room because truth is I wouldn't mine giving Zavain a try. He's cute,nice,respectful,funny,and friendly.He would pay me some kind of male attention.I just don't know if he would be alright with it. Kevin is right. He would never choose someone that would hurt me. I know that for a fact. I just don't know. Zavain would most likely be the dude to call me beautiful to make me feel good, and do everything to make me feel good. The feelings wouldn't be mutual. How do you know? A voice says in the back of mind. Here you've been talking about how you want love and you atleast want a boyfriend, but when the oppurtunity comes you run and judge. The voice says. I rub my eyes this is too much to handle. Give it a try the voice says. I'll sleep on it. Hopefully Kevin still won't be mad at me in the morning.

Wellllll that was chapter 2 hopefully you all liked it!! Vote,Comment,Fan!!! Tell me what you like and don't like I will try and improve it!!!:)