50 Shades of Silver

Shade 38

Silvertongue: *mumbles to self* Okay. Now. Today's method is going to be successful.

Reader: Isn't that what you've been telling yourself ever since, er, Shade 1?

Silvertongue: *paces around, eyes narrowed in thought* If I want me to like her — wait, no, she to like me, wait — no — her to like me, I'll have to like gher first and I already love her so step one is successful and OH MY GHERKINS THIS IS ALREADY GOING SO WELL :D I'M TOTALLY GONNA WIN HER HEART!

Reader: -.- Yes. Sure. Keep going.

Silvertongue: Ireallyreallyreallylikeher >:D and my goal is to get she no I mean her to reallyreallyreallylikeme :D

Reader: Well ain't your grammar going well today :P

Silvertongue: And to accomplish my goal, I'LL SIMPLY JUST HAVE TO PLAY HARD-TO-GET! OH MY THIS IS GENIUS HOW COULD I HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE?!!?!?!??

Reader: I don't think... I don't think —

Silvertongue: Playing hard-to-get is an art of its own :) If done well, I won't just have Ammethystglimmer after me! All the she-cats will be pining for me!

Reader: Don't try to be clever. It doesn't suit you. 

Silvertongue: *is spasming on the floor in pure excitement*

Reader: I'm pretty sure you've managed to convince yourself that —

Silvertongue: *is still trapped in a spasmodic seizurey type-thing*

Reader: Actually, in order to—

Silvertongue: Oh, look, there she is. *sits up, wipes saliva from jaw and struts flippantly over*

Amethystglimmer: Ew — I mean, hi. Silvertooth. Or tail. Whatever you're called.

Silvertongue: *clicks tongue* Not today, hun. You and I both know what you want, and you're certainly not getting it today. *looks down at manicured claws* 

Reader: HE'S NOT EVEN DOING IT RIGHT! THAT'S WAY TOO BLATANT FOR SOMEONE PLAYING HARD-TO-GET! 

Amethystglimmer: What in the world are you talking about?

Silvertongue: Oh, darling, don't play dumb. (Reader can be heard immaturely imitating Silvertongue in the background) Don't think I haven't noticed your obsession with Glodhart lately.

Amethystglimmer: We've been together forever now, Silvertongue. I love him.

Silvertongue: HAH! Even now you're still trying to convince yourself that Glodhart will make a good replacement. A measly substitute.

Amethystglimmer: Substitute? 

Silvertongue: FOR ME! At the same time, you're subconsciously trying to make me jealous, huh? You really think that'd work on me? *secretly remembers the long sleepless nights of stabbing a Goldhart-resembling voodoo doll and bitterly watching Titanic with a tub of ice cream and imagining that Rose and Jack were Amethystglimmer and Glodhart*

Reader: *while watching the rapidly worsening predicament* What. A. Cringefest. He's totally straying from the hard-to-get character. *Facepalm* And now he's just trying to convince himself that Amethystglimmer actually likes him — remotely.

Silvertongue: AND DON'T THINK THAT I HAVEN'T NOTICED YOUR SUGGESTIVE GLANCES SENT MY WAY WHENEVER POSSIBLE—

Amethystglimmer: Those were glares. To express my hatred.

Silvertongue: HAH, ALL PRETENCE, ALL A RUSE, A PLOY WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE TO GAIN MY LOVE! *CONTINUES SHRIEKING IN CAPS LOCKS FOR X AMOUNT OF TIME WHILE AMETHYSTGLIMMER DISAPPEARS INTO THE SUNSET WITH GLODHART*

Written by Saph! 🍩✨ I hope I mastered/portrayed each of your reactions through the sarcastic role of 'Reader'...