The Great Sacrifice

A Long Awaited Return

Thranduil rode towards the forest gate. If he had managed to have lunch with the human girl here yesterday, everything would have turned out differently. Would it have been for the better? Thranduil was not sure anymore.

Galion saw the doubt written all over Thranduil's face when they approached the elven gate. "Do not doubt your decision, my king. You are not retreating from a battle. You are fighting it. And you will be victorious. This battle is different. It will be fought with silence. Victory will surely be ours. It is just a matter of time. Have you called upon your son yet?"

Thranduil silently nodded. Yes, he had done so.

---Earlier that morning---

The first light of dawn appeared in the sky. Galion had gone to make arrangements for their departure and Thranduil had returned to the tree that he had planted just outside of Dale. He was now sitting under it, watching the sunrise. His thoughts brought him back to the previous day. What difference can just one day make, he thought. Despite his gloomy mood, Thranduil was somehow impressed. If one day could bring changes or dangers of that scale, what could many more days like this one do? He shook his head. No. He did not need that. He had destroyed his chambers twice. He had injured himself by doing so. He had harmed the human girl. The human girl... Thranduil would not even utter her name. Not now, not under these circumstances. He would not allow the feeling in his heart to grow and take shape. He would wait until she returned to Dale. Then he would take her to his palace. He would wait, because he had no other choice.

He feared the fact that he was already bonded to her. He had not been fearful when his father had planned to wed him to Ardelwen. No, Thranduil had bravely stepped into his new life. It had been quite easy, though. It had not been a matter of the heart. But now it was different. The situation had changed. His heart was calling out for...her. Matters of the heart were entirely different. They were unfamiliar to him. And he did not like the unknown. Even the unknown fatherly love and emotion towards his own son had at first made him fearful. To that extend that he had decided to bury it. He had become nothing more than a king to Legolas. Not much of a father at all. Despite that, Legolas had grown into a fine elf. Thranduil was proud of his son, but he had failed to express his feelings to him.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Thranduil searched for his son in his heart. He was there. He had always been there, but the king had silently and secretly buried him along with his feelings for him. It was time to dig out the previously undesirable feelings and face them. At least he would try.

Thranduil sat perfectly still as he recollected his son. He was but a small elfling of three years when Thranduil returned from the war. He had been away for years and the terror of war as well as the loss of his father and the lives of countless elves had established a heavy burden in his heart. His wife had stood there, holding the small elfling in her arms. Thranduil had been overwhelmed by his son's smile to his father. It was something beyond anything he had experienced in his long life until that moment.

"Ada!" little Legolas had cried impatiently, as he jumped into his father's arms. Thranduil had embraced him and had held his son tightly to his chest. His heart had been overcome by love and joy. A father's love for his son. It lessened the pain of war and loss. It outshone all the darkness in his heart. His son.

"Who told you that I am your father?"

"No one did. It is a matter of the heart, ada." Legolas' tiny arms tightened the embrace around the king even more.

Thranduil felt tears running down his cheeks. He had wept tears before. But on that day they were of a totally different kind. When he had held his tiny son in his arms, Thranduil had wept tears of joy and gratefulness for he had been blessed with a beautiful son. Today his tears were shed out of guilt. He was guilty of denying Legolas a father's love and affection for almost his entire existence. He opened his eyes and saw the first rays of sunlight appear on the horizon. Thranduil tried to swallow the lump in his throat but failed miserably.