Chapter Eleven

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I turned over on my back finally opening my eyes to reveal the ceiling of my bedroom. I sighed feeling relieved for the first time in a long time. For the first time I felt good. For the first time I felt like life was worth it.

I rubbed my hand down my body until I got to my stomach where my baby used to be and sighed. It still weighed heavily on me but at least now, in this moment, tears didn't prick at my eyes threatening to pool out like a ferocious river.

My body still ached for the lost I had suffered but now in this moment everything felt calm. I didn't feel the need to bite the head off of everyone that passed by me. Every baby I saw didn't make me want to burst out in tears until I was completely drained of everything.

I finally looked around the room and took in the mess that surrounded me. Lucas was always one for cleaning but this room looked horrible. His suits were thrown everywhere, not in their place at all. I sat up looking at the floor to find his shoes littering it. I guess Lucas was more affected by our lost than I had noticed. I felt bad that I hadn't been here for him. He needed me and I was absent. I was so busy drowning in my own sorrow that I left him to drown in his own.

I got up and started cleaning up the room and putting things where they belonged. Now that I was home I needed to go back to what I used to do. I needed to return to my life, not just for me but for the both of us.

I slowly followed the scent of food into the kitchen where Lucas stood over the stove watching a pot. I leaned against the counter watching him until he finally noticed me. "There you are sleepy head."

"What time is it?"

"It's noon. You must've been more tired than you thought."

"Well I have been running on coffee most of the time so I suppose I would be tired. Why aren't you working?"

"Waiting for you to get up."

"Why?"

"Because you're coming to work with me." I scrunched up my face confused.

"Why?"

"For one because we just made up and I don't want to be apart from you right now and two I want you to meet Oliva." I leaned off the counter now fully confused and on the verge of being pissed.

"Why would I want to meet that woman?"

"So you can see for yourself that there's nothing going on between me and her."

"Lucas I told you I believed you when you said you weren't cheating."

"That's good but I still want you to meet her." I stared at him trying to figure out my next words but everything failed me. I was starting to piece my life together and it felt like in one swoop he was going to send me back the way I came.

"And what if I don't want to meet her Lucas? I don't want to meet the woman whose face I can't get out of my head when I found her touching my husband inappropriately." He stepped away from the stove and walked towards me.

"I know how you feel Samaria. How do you think I feel anytime I see you with Lincoln knowing that you two have kissed and whatever the hell else you two did together? The only reason I don't say anything is because I know that you two are friends. I need you to meet her to know that what I am saying is the truth."

"Fine Lucas." I wanted to walk out and not talk to him again but I knew that's how we got in the situation. It was aching me not to stay in the room with him. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. He grabbed my hand and kissed them trying to make me feel better. He went and got a bowl and put something in it and then handed it to me.

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