lead singer || a tyler jøseph x reader

chapter 17

(TYLER POV)
It had been a while since I'd seen Josh cry.

Something with Liza's heart. It wasn't cardiac arrest. I didn't remember. But Josh did.

He clung to the edge of her bed like his life depended on it. Like her life did. He was shaking and I know he tried to hide it but I watched him wipe his eyes.

The doctors said she would live, and she did.

The problem wasn't Josh, not anymore. Even though he hadn't slept very much since  that incident, I don't think any of us had. The problem was starting to be (Y/N). She wasn't overly depressed or anything insane like that, but she was a little different.

For some reason she hated going to the hospital. I don't mean your classic fear of "I don't like the doctor" or "I don't like the smell", but an actual fear. Anytime Josh wanted to go to the hospital, she tried to make an excuse to stay. And when she had to go, she always looked just plain terrified.

I didn't care that she was afraid. I just wanted to know why she didn't want to go. She refused to answer any questions, which led to today.

I made a huge mistake today. I messed everything up, and I didn't know what to do.

It all started this morning...

FLASHBACK 
"Good morning," I said as a groggy (Y/N) walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "How's my sunshine?"

"Good," she said, cheerily. "What're our plans for today?"

"I told Liza I'd see her today," Josh said, eating his pancakes. (Y/N)'s smile faltered, and she looked upset. "She wants you guys to go."

"I don't think I should," she said. "I have to, uh, I have to...I have to clean."

"The house is spotless," Josh argued, and she looked annoyed. "Just go for Liza."

"I don't know if I can," she mumbled.

"(Y/N), I know you don't want to, but Liza wants to see you," I said, putting my arm around her. She shrugged it off. "(Y/N)."

"I don't have to go, you know," she said. "You can't make me."

"But I can try," I said. "And I will try. Now come with me."

"Stop it, Tyler!" she yelled, her voice cracking. "I don't want to go!"

"Tell me why."

"No."

"Tell me why!"

"I DON'T WANT TO!" she yelled, tears streaming down her face. I instantly reached out to hug her, but she took a step back. "Don't."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything." My voice was oddly quiet.

"You can't just apologize your way out of everything." She started to walk away.

"I'm so sorry Sunshine," I whispered.

"Don't call me that," she said harshly.

"But you are my sunshine."

"Maybe not," she said. "Maybe not anymore."
END FLASHBACK

Thinking about the morning sent a spell of tears down my face. I traced the grooves on the wall and pulled the threads of my blanket. I had spent my whole day in my room, just thinking about it. I missed her.

I picked up my phone and dialed her number.

She picked up, but she didn't say anything.

"I know you're mad, but I love you. I'm so sorry. You know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, Sunshine. I feel horrible," I said shakily.

I heard a few sniffs and a few deep breaths on the other end, and then a voice spoke up.

"I love you," she said, "but you can't apologize your way out of everything. We'll talk later."

A click, and she was gone.

I started crying again, tracing the grooves on the walls and pulling out thread after thread. Josh came in after a while and sat on the bed.

It was comforting.

"We have a concert tomorrow," he spoke up. "It will be fun."

"Yeah it will," I agreed. "I'm excited."

"(Y/N) is going to come," Josh said. "She's like you, but worse. She won't stop crying."

"I just want to talk to her," I said.

"Give it time. It will pass," he said, putting a hand on my back. "I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Josh," I said, slowly closing my eyes. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Sleep good," he said, standing up.

I missed her, but I had to stop crying. I wasn't tired, yet I fell asleep.

(Y/N POV)
I missed him, and I couldn't stop crying. I was exhausted, yet I couldn't fall asleep.