chapter twenty øne

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(Y/N POV)
I had no idea what had happened.

All I could see was darkness. And beeping. Constant beeping. Like an alarm. Like I was supposed to be awake. For school? No. It was summer. But what?

Slowly, I opened my heavy eyelids, only to be faced with a blinding white light. Glancing around me, all I could see was white. It was odd, and it made my head ache, so I shut my eyes.

"Is she still asleep?" I heard a voice ask. Tyler!

"Tyler!" I said quickly. "Tyler!" I heard him rushing into the room, and I quickly opened my eyes. Tyler's overjoyed face greeted me, and I smiled at his smile. He ran over to me and hugged me, placing a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes lit up. It was like I had forgotten the sensation of kissing, and how amazing it was. Only with Tyler. He held me close to him, snuggling me, even though I was in... a hospital bed?

"I need you to sign some discharge papers," a plump nurse said, running in and quickly showing me where I needed to initial and sign. "You are with him?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said, quickly scribbling a few names down. It made me feel a strange sensation to move my arm. A weird tingling. The nurse quickly switched the pen from my dominant hand to my other, and I wrote crookedly. "Why was I here?"

"You were stabbed in the arm. It hit some kind of critical nerve, and you had to get surgery. You recently came off anesthesia, so any minor amnesia is normal, I think," Tyler said. He glanced at the nurse, and she nodded. "And now you get to come home."

"Stabbed... you know, I don't remember anything past when I left and kissed you goodbye," I said. "But I don't really want to remember either." Tyler nodded quietly.

After a little more paperwork, the nurse helped me up and brought me out to the car. Oh, how I hated hospitals. The smell itself wasn't bad, but it triggered memories of the car accident, of Liza, of Josh, of my constant vomiting, of Tyler in so much pain. And I hated it. Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Tyler had taught me that tactic. It was what he used when he started panicking, and although it wasn't some sort of magic panic attack preventer, it helped. I knew that it helped. I glanced outside, and it was dark.

"What time it it?" I asked, looking around.

"Nine-thirty," Tyler answered, helping me into the car. In the front seat, Josh waved. "You look exhausted." As he said this, I yawned, and felt a wave of tiredness wash over me. I nodded slowly, leaning back against the seat, trying to keep my eyes open. "It's a half-hour drive. You can sleep."

Instantly, I shut my eyes and drifted off.

When I came to, Tyler was gently kissing my forehead and saying my name quietly.

"We just got home," he said, helping me up. "We are all tired." Groggy and confused, I rubbed my eyes, nodded, and stumbled into the house. Before I could even get my pajamas on, I collapsed into the bed. Never in my life had I felt such a need for sleep.

Oh, sleep. As I closed my eyes, expecting a peaceful slumber, I was graced with nightmares.

Running. Breathing hard. Someone was screaming. Me. I was screaming.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "Leave me alone."

"Not until I get you."

A flash of light, and there I was. Strapped down. Shaking. Terrified.

Where was Tyler?

Tyler?

TYLER!

"TYLER!" I cried, sitting up quickly. Instantly, Tyler sat up next to me. Carefully, he put his arms around me and lowered me back into the bed. I wrapped my arms around him, shaking.

"Shh, it's okay Sunshine. I'm right here. I'm right here," he said quietly, stroking my hair.

"Thank you," I said, sniffing. "I love you."

"I love you too. Sleep now." I closed my eyes, and started to fall asleep, when the image of me strapped to a chair re-entered my mind. Tears streaming down my face, I pulled myself closer to Tyler.

"I can't sleep," I whispered. He kissed the top of my head.

"I know how you feel. I'm right here. Nothing is going to happen to you or me or Josh. I promise," he said. "I swear on my life."

"Okay," I whispered. For a while, I still couldn't sleep, but eventually the sound of Tyler's heartbeat relaxed me.

I closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, with no memory of my dreams, I awoke once again, feeling terrified.

I didn't even know what had happened.

I tried to calm myself by thinking of Tyler.

Music class.

Love song.

Standing ovation.

First kiss.

Sunshine.

Heartbeat.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

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