Sanders Sides One Shots [xReader]

Memories [PattonXreader]

TW // Suicide 

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[Patton's POV]

"Grandpa!" My grandchildren yell when they get out of the car. They run up to me and hug me tightly.

"Jess, James. How are you?" I ask and pick them up.

"I'm good. Mom bought me a tractor." James says and shows me a toy tractor.

"Oh, that's really cool," I say and smile.

"I got a monster truck!" Jess says smiling and holds up a purple monster truck.

"That's really cool too! Now I wish that I was a kiddo again." I say and the two 4-year-olds giggle.

"Hey, dad." My daughter Alice is now and front of me and kisses me on the cheek before we all walk into the house.

I let my grandchildren down who run into the living room while Alice and I walk into the kitchen.
"How are you dad?" She asks me as I start to brew coffee.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well, Mom's birthday is coming up."

I drop the spoon, and it falls to the floor. Quickly picking it up, I put it in the sink and fill two mugs with coffee. "Milk and sugar?" I ask Alice.

"Sure." She says, and I place the two things on the table before placing a mug in front of her and sitting down with a mug for myself.

"As I said: I'm fine," I say and avoid eye contact.

"Dad," Alice takes my hand in hers. "You can tell me if you're not."

I look at Alice and tears well up in my eyes. "You look so much like her," I mutter and a tear falls.

"Mum!" The twins run into the kitchen and I quickly wipe my eyes. "James wants to play with my truck!"

"I told her that she could play with my tractor." James defends himself.

"Jess, you should share with your brother. You could switch your toys every few minutes. How about that?"

"Fine," Jess mutters, and they leave the room.

"Give me a minute Alice. I believe I have a few more toy cars in the attic." I say and walk upstairs.

In the attic I open a few boxes, looking for the toy cars when I find an old photo album with (Y/N)'s name on it.

I open it and skip through the pages of childhood pictures of her and her family, pictures of her and her friends, of her in her "emo phase" and pictures of the two of us, some with Thomas, Logan, Roman, and Virgil too.

On the very last page, an envelope with my name on it lies in the album. It's (Y/N)'s handwriting.

I open the letter with shaking hands and unfold it. Sitting on one of the dusty chairs, I read the letter.

[Alice's POV]

It's been half an hour since Dad went to the attic, and he hasn't come back yet. I wonder what he's doing.

I go upstairs and climb up the ladder to the attic where I see dad on a chair, his face in his hands and his body shaking.

"Dad." I rush to his side and he looks up. His eyes are red and puffy and tears stain his cheeks. "What's wrong?" I asked worried and he hands me a letter.

Dear Patton,

when you read this, I've already ended it all. I am so endlessly sorry that I can't stay by your side, but the bad thoughts and memories are clogging my brain. They're eating my soul and happiness.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am forever grateful that you loved me as I loved you and that I was able to marry you before the bad things destroyed me.

I am so sorry about everything bad that I ever said to you. You never did anything wrong, it was my fault and mine alone.

Please don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault. You were the only light in a room full of darkness and even though you tried to help, I couldn't find the light switch.

Take good care of Alice and tell her that I love her so much.

I will love you forever and count the days until we will meet again.

Yours forever,

(Y/N)

The letter slips through my fingers and falls to the floor before I hug my dad tightly. He cries on my shoulder as tears roll down my face too.

~ 2 days later - Your birthday ~

[Patton's POV]

I get out of the car. Why am I here? The old house. The house I bought when I found out that (Y/N) was pregnant.

I try to resist, but my feet move on their own. They carry me inside the house. "(Y/N), I'm home!" I say and place the newspaper and letters, that I didn't know I was carrying, on the table and walk into the kitchen. "(Y/N)?"

I take a glass out of the cupboard and fill it with water, then I go upstairs. "(Y/N)?" I knock on the bathroom door, no response. "(Y/N)!?" I walk into our bedroom and there I see her. I drop the glass as it shatters on the floor in front of me. She's hanging from the ceiling fan, her face is blue and her body lifeless.

My breathing hitches and I drop on the floor, shards of glass now stinging in my hands. My vision gets blurry and tears fall to the wooden floor. "(Y-Y/N)." I hear the lock on the door and footsteps. I jump up, close the bedroom door and run downstairs to see my daughter coming in and placing her backpack on the sofa. I quickly pick her up and carry her outside.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Alice asks after she sees my tear-stained face.
I let her down and kneel in front of her. Then I hug her tightly. "I love you so much, Alice."

"Dad." Alice starts and breaks out of the hug. "What's wrong? Where is... mom..." Tears jump into her eyes. "Dad, where is mom? What happened?" She asks and tries to walk past me into the house.

"Alice, no!" I say and pull her into another hug. I feel her tears soaking my shirt and her body shakes from her violent sobs.

Taking my phone out of my pocket I call my sister and an ambulance.
The ambulance arrives, and they get (Y/N)'s body out of the house. Covered by a white sheet - Dead.

I wake up, soaked in sweat and crying. Getting up I grab my clothes and walk into the bathroom to take a shower.

~ 2 hours later ~

[Narrator's POV]

"I found your letter. It hurt a lot, but it's good to know that you didn't leave the world without writing down your last words. I miss you so much, and I still love you. Alice grew up to be a wonderful mother, just like you were. She looks exactly like you too and her children, Jess and James, look a lot like her when she was four. I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you in the last few years, but I couldn't do it. Every night I see you in my dreams and every day, you're all I ever think about. ... I guess I can't forget you.
We will see each other again, I promise. Happy birthday (Y/N). I love you." Patton says and places the beautiful flower bouquet on the grave of his wife.

With tears in his eyes, he walks down the gravel path and, it could've been his imagination playing tricks on him, but he swore he heard her voice.

"I love you too Patton."

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A/N: So that was... incredibly sad. (I literally cried while writing this chapter)
But I hope you somehow enjoyed it anyway? :)

Just wanna say a quick thank you for 7 THOUSAND reads and 263 votes, that's incredible!! ♡
Also, this is the 30th one-shot I've written for this book, and it's all because of you guys, so thanks for motivating me! ♡

Peace out!
~ Azura011

[Originally published: September 14, 2017]