Chapter One.

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This chapter contains some sensitive topics, mentions about self harm and a slight panic attack. It's very light and not too harsh, but still. Those who are sensitive, please try to avoid.

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"I was there when no one was.
Now you're gone, and I'm here."

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She felt numb, really.

She didn't know how, didn't know why she wasn't fretting over it, didn't know why she wasn't already drowning in her own fears and tears, but here she was. Numb.

Wryly, she smiled, devoid of amusement, and then lifted her head up to stare at the sky, the polluted air of Seoul and the amount of artificial lights preventing the stars from shining the way they were supposed to be, bright and beautiful. Seems like that was stolen away from them, too.

But she liked it, liked the polluted air, liked smell of gases and liked the never ending blaring sounds of the huge city. She liked Seoul.

Stumbling upon her steps, she groaned when she fell, scraping her hands on the concrete sidewalk. Sitting up, she stared at the small amount of blood on her hands, unmoving.

'Maybe,' she thought. 'Maybe this could replace the ache inside, won't it?'

Self harm, God, Sana knew it was stupid to even think of something like that. Surely, she would also have her head for it later if Dongsoo saw, but in the peculiarity of the moment, she didn't care.

Lots of thoughts.

Lots of thoughts crossed her mind. Gosh, all the horrible ways to hurt yourself. All the ways she could replace the emotional pain with physical pain, all the ways she could try and have more of it. She didn't know what was it that flinched her out of it, an exceptionally loud horn or something else, but soon enough, she was shaking her head and standing on her feet, again.

All this agony, was that what he called her for?

Overcome with the urge to please him after seeing him after so long, she had prepared so much. Got all the foods he liked, his favourite cologne, his favourite drink, a pair of dangly earrings, gosh, he loved those.

Why did he?

Why did he have to make her come to his house, and then tell her he wanted to break up. Couldn't he simply do that over his phone? Was it a necessity to leave her stranded like this?

Sana was going to be honest here.

Had he given her a real reason, a justifiable explanation as to why he had fallen out of love, why he thought this couldn't work anymore, it wouldn't have hurt this much.

But he didn't.

He didn't explain, only shoved the truth at her life like a slap, and then told her, 'I want to be alone.'

Oh sure. He was going to have a lot of time for himself. Sana wasn't planning on staying either.

However, she knew being this strong and having an impossibly hard facade was going to come back for her later, to gnaw at her, eat her insides, because no, she wasn't this strong.

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