Nostalgia | Dazai Osamu

16| Thief

(Y/n)P.O.V

I woke to the soft comfort of my own sofa. However, that didn't stop me from scrambling out of my seat, only to fall immediately on the soft rug. I was so surprised that I was her and I almost concern as to why I was. I winced, my energy had been drained and I soon noticed the nausea and deadness of my body.

I felt rotten.

Supposedly, losing my energy was a good thing-No rapid amounts of black shadows would pour out of my arm or no lightbulb would break anymore. At least I knew nothing would get damaged. That fact had calmed my mind a little, however...I reached my house from being knocked unconscious by Dazais co-worker on the gritty concrete, almost halfway across the city. Who was it that brought me here? It was impossible for me to make it here unconscious. How did I manage to survive? What had happened? Could someone still be here?

"Help..." I groaned, wishing someone was here. My begged call was  almost as loud as I hoped for.

I struggled to move my arm, shaking fingers gripping onto the sides of the sofa arm, nails digging into the leather. I tried to pull myself onto my feet, but I only managed to sit on my knees. Even that, was effort. My muscles burned, everything was so painful to do. I tried not to panic, not to overthink my situation but to deal with it as I was struggling with it. I took deep breaths, and somehow, hoisted myself into the sofa again.

I exhaled deeply. My muscles that burnt like flames which relaxed onto cold leather, my eyes shutting. Why was I like this? It was so unordinary. My mind tried to reply the facts I knew: Immense Lustre, Immense darkness, my ability that had two sides, two opposites. The white light was taking over... and somehow, I'm changing.

I didn't realise it before. I was so oblivious, so blinded by religiously believing that I had always been engulfed in the dark, ever since I was raised in it.

Of course, I know nothing but darkness.

At least, I thought. It sparked. It became so clear.

"(Y/n)...?"

Dazai. So, he brought me here. He was also my answer.

He was my answer as to why I was changing. He clarified it himself- I had softened. I grew to love him again somehow, want to hold his hand, kiss his pale lips and stroke his dark hair. The nostalgia coloured my pain a dark shade of black. However, now the nostalgia is gone. I have no pain.

And I have no more darkness.

"So... you brought me here." I almost whisper, through hushed breathes of exhaustion.

"I couldn't leave you there. You know that... You would have messed up the whole city." He replied, a gentle laugh at the thought of me messing up the entire city. He walked around the sofa, and into my sight. His silhouette was outlined by gold from the city lights, pouring from the window walls. However, he didn't get too close. He stood perfectly far in front of me, back almost facing towards me. I wondered what he was thinking in the darkness, I wondered why he didn't quite seem himself...

"What did I do?" I asked, almost too hesitant to ask. He was silent for a minuet, his eyes trailing down to the floor.

"Broke a few bulbs in the agency."

"Oh," I said to myself, "Are you sure that's it?"

"You also made the lights in the street lamps and skyscrapers flicker a lot." He added. That sounded more convincing. I sighed, closing my eyes once again. Nothing too dramatic happened.

It was silent for a moment, only the distance existence of traffic was heard.

"Did I hurt someone?"