Nostalgia | Dazai Osamu

21 | Taken

OHAYO MY READERS!

I have returned, way after when I said I would, but its nice to be back. I've finished with school, I've had my prom and I've been on holiday! I'm back as cool as a cucumber, and still...

maybe totally out of ideas for this fanfiction a ck.

BUT IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF U KNOW WHY?? Because I've reached #2 on the tag DazaiOsamu and YES honey who the hell in number one because they better watch oUT.

But no I have seen all your comments and votes and I am so so grateful for them :) To the people commenting and voting- you are my favourite people rn!!! Honestly, it's so nice to hear lovely feedback and positivity, which is why I am not gonna give up on this fanfiction.

I'll figure it out. Because I love u.

030

plus I have about another two months left before I go to COLLEGE (For u American readers, im not going to university, we have less years of what you guys call middle and high school. The last two years of high school for us is when we go to college) so this fanfiction will be done and dusted by then, since we are approaching the end soon. sad. I remember writing the first chapter to this and that was probably over a year ago now woooah.

Anyway I LOVE U COMMENTERS <3

And lets see what I have in store for you guys, and even im excited as you are, because im not sure myself ahaha.

lots of love, aspynie xxx

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UPDATE...Five hours later....

Dazai stood there like a hallow, cracking statue. His eyes lost the amber sparkle they once had, and now were clouded with a dark hue. He wore black: black jeans, black shirt that was a little too big on him, black shoes that must have reflected on how he was feeling unintentionally. His hair had grown too, immediately making me realise he'd been in this state for a prolonged time. Dazai's face held more than sorrow; It held rue too, captured within every detail of his face. 

When I saw him, I did feel resentment, yes. The last time I had seen him was all through a blur, like a mirror dipped in water, a distorted wold through my tears. I remembered the agony that poked me inside when I locked away in my apartment, the pain that only he could give me.

But I felt something I'd never thought I'd feel today- dismay. 

Dazai had broken mentally, completely snapped, and crumbled.

And for once, the tables had turned.

"You seem to be... okay." He said, so gently that I thought the soft clatter of rain was louder than him. I was. I was okay... It was weird to feel okay so soon. I wondered if he knew about me wandering of with Francis, and wondered about his reaction. But, maybe I shouldn't be talking about that so soon. 

When I asked him if he thought I would be better of without him, he stood there silent. His head hung, damp hair covering his eyes.

 I felt one raindrop on my cheek, but I never moved an inch. The atmosphere was dull and everything felt like monochrome.

"Why did you leave again, Dazai?" I whispered. I couldn't bare to bring it to anything more than that.

"I...thought..." He began, unable to finish. He gently shook his head, and a hand went through his hair nervously. He struggled to find the words and looked elsewhere to think of what to say, but I wasn't focusing on that. I was still deeply concerned at the condition in he kept himself in for the past week. I questioned why he'd done it, what other unfortunate things he'd done, how long exactly had he felt this way. My concern grew the more I examined his poor body and his expressions. After all, this was Dazai Osamu, the strongest man I knew.