There are demons in the girl's head. They make her wish she was dead.
Two years ago, the infamous Tony Stark told the world that he was Iron Man and that came with consequences that his precious daughter, Lisa, had to suffer. Despite all odd...
if you leave, when i go, find me in the shallows when the time comes on the last day when they start to come down will you just, will you run away shallows ─── daughter
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new york presybterian december 18, 1999 ( tony's point of view )
After December 17th being completely spent in the hospital and full of Lisa screaming and crying and mumbling to herself, she had finally fallen asleep. It was the Godforsaken hour of 3:00 a.m. and all I wanted at the moment was to be drunk out of my mind. The bliss of that sounded like heaven. But I wasn't drunk. I was entirely sober as the moon was shining through the white curtains and reflecting off of the cold hospital tiles directly into my eyes. Lisa was blowing soft air out of her little nostrils and her four little fingers were tucked in her mouth as she kept her arms tightly curled around the person holding her.
And that person wasn't me.
Pepper was lying on the hospital bed as Lisa laid pretty much on top of her. Rhodey was slouched down in the chair by the window while Happy was sitting straight-backed by the door. As I sat on the floor, my back was pressed firmly against the wall and my legs were sprawled out in front of me. Lisa might have finally been out, but none of the rest of us were. We weren't talking either; we were all just staring off into space.
I still hadn't moved by the time Pepper and Rhodey arrived at the hospital. They had frantic, mournful expression on their faces, but I couldn't answer their questions. I just glanced at them and my lips parted slightly, but no words seemed right. Pepper's sparkling eyes were full of tears as she looked from me to my little girl who was still sobbing on the white sheeted bed. The look of confusion and near anger that she looked at me with made me feel something that I had only felt when my dad talked to me: ashamed.
I was so ashamed that I couldn't allow Lisa to curl into my arms as Pepper did. I was so ashamed that I couldn't kneel in front of her and softly talk to her as Rhodey did. And I was so ashamed that I couldn't make her feel protected like Happy did.
I just stood there and watched and I had been stuck like that pretty much ever since.
God, what was I going to do?
I had no clue what I was doing.
Sure, I knew how to keep Lisa alive and I did a decently good job at looking after her, but, without Mom, I felt completely useless. She was the one who knew how to take care of a kid. I was just a kid myself. Just a dumb kid who accidentally got some girl pregnant. Mom knew how to teach Lisa morals and love and goodness. I wasn't good, but that was me. Who I was wasn't Mom's fault and she was doing great with Lisa, even if she said that it was me who was doing it. Without my mom, I was nothing and, in the end, Lisa would be too.
Then there was Dad. I regretted it. I immediately regretted it. Everything. All of it. And then those things that I said before he left the house...
Mom's soft voice echoed off the inside of my brain, "Sweetheart, please, try to fix it before it's too late. Your father is getting older now and, as much as you say that Starks are immortal, he's not. He won't live forever, Anthony, one day he will pass away."
"Couldn't be soon enough."
Couldn't be soon enough.
Oh God!
I quickly shoved myself off of the ground and my feet carried me to the pale blue door as the three other people awake gazed after me. Ignoring them, I left the hospital room before I had really even thought about what I was doing. My knuckles collided with the wall so hard that the skin immediately split apart and blood smeared across the drywall. My heart was beating wildly and I was breathing so fast that it physically hurt my lungs and chest. I whirled back around and slammed my back against the wall before I slowly slid down it. My throat began to tighten and a choked breath left my throat as I struggled to hold it all in.
I didn't want this. I never wanted any of this! What was I? A playboy. A genius. An heir to a fortune that people would and have tried to kill for. That's what they told me; the media, the reporters, the public. I didn't want to be that because that meant I had to deal with this. The mourning of dead parents. The burden of a motherless child. I didn't want to be the heir to a fortune, to a company, or be a father, an orphan. No! No, I didn't want any of it.
I weakly brought my knees up and dropped my forearms down onto my kneecaps. My chest pulled in and pushed out as I grappled for air. The white hospital lights grew bleary as tears welled up in my eyes and a strangled cry crackled out of my mouth. My shoulders violently shook and they bumped back into the wall with each sob. My head dropped back and I leaned it against the drywall as the burning tears tore down my face.
They were gone now.
I was alone.
It was different.
Everything was different now.
Well, I'm sorry if that seemed like a bit of a weak ending (?). It was kind of short too and no gifs either... I was very, super excited to write it in the beginning, but then I sort of struggled in the end there. Golly, I hope you liked it! Tony's pain pains me, you feel me? He's so damaged and broken and it's awful. What do you think? We are moving into Avengers next chapter with Lisa's P.O.V. so yay for that! Guys, things are about to get REAL up in here. Please stick with me! Vote, COMMENT, and follow! I'd love to hear your thoughts on what's going on and what you think is going to happen.
Funny Thingamabob (because of course):
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