Slytherin Army [HP]

13. The Gruelling Club

The Dueling Club was gruelling.

At least when Lockhart was talking. The ridiculous octopus-haired show-off was prancing around, shamelessly plugging his books.

"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions — for full details, see my published works."

"He should plug his published works up his arse," Drew scowled.

Her twin sister around turned to shoot her a reprimanding look. Drew hadn't even realized she was there. "What?" she snapped.

Ari rolled her eyes, "Don't say that word."

Lockhart was still talking, "...assistant, Professor Snape. He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about duelling himself!"

" 'A tiny little bit,' " Malfoy scoffed loudly. Drew found herself silently agreeing.

The DADA snothead didn't seem to hear, "Now I don't want any of you to worry — you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"

"I hope Snape kills him," Pansy whispered.

"I would read that book with rigour," Drew replied.

"You would read it with rigor mortis," Wilby giggled, elbowing her slightly.

She turned to him, "That was a very morbid pun and I loved it."

The whole room held their breath as Lockhart and Professor Snape stood with their backs to each other. The Head of House's face was such a mask of disdain and anger that Drew was surprised Lockhart wasn't quaking in his violet robes.

They both took ten steps away from each other before whipping around with their robes flying. Lockhart's mouth was opening, but Snape beat him to it. "Expelliarmus!" he bellowed.

A dazzlingly scarlet light blasted Lockhart in the chest. His wand went flying, and he did a backflip in the air before slamming into the wall, sliding to the ground with a whump for good measure.

The screams of alarm masked Drew's clapping and Malfoy's cheering.

Snape glanced in her direction, and she could have sworn he was smirking just a little.

Unfortunately, Lockhart hadn't been given the humiliating death he deserved. 

The idiot was unsteadily picking himself up. His ridiculous green hat had fallen off and his octopus hair was standing on end. "Well, there you have it!" he exclaimed ebulliently, teetering back onto the platform. "That was a Disarming Charm — as you see, I've lost my wand — ah, thank you, Miss Brown — yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy — however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see..."

Drew wanted to break open his skull and stab his stupid brain.

Snape seemed to be thinking along the same lines. Lockhart noticed and quickly squawked, "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help —" 

The two teachers moved through the crowd, matching up partners.

To Malfoy's glee, he got put with Potter. He skipped off to find him, bragging that he was going to eviscerate him.

Having lost her Draco, Pansy reached for Millicent, only for her friend to get stuck with Hermione.

"Parkinson and Piramyd," Lockhart singsonged while fixing his hair. "Such a wonderful-sounding pair!"