When That's The Last Hope Left (BxB)

Chapter 21

Aldo sat down on the chair instead of Jared, who left the brothers to talk alone. Dan didn't miss the usual glares they exchanged, this time trying to do it quickly and discreetly in front of him.

"How are you feeling?" Aldo asked.

Dan heard something strange in his voice, even faced at the other direction as he didn't know how to look at him. He was so ashamed and disappointed in himself.

"O-okay."

"Good, that's good."

"Where were you?" Dan asked, not knowing what to think of the strange, new tension between them.

Aldo seemed like he didn't want to talk at all, which was surprising.

"Just...out there" Aldo shrugged nonchalantly. He had gone outside the hospital and soon joined by Niall who got him eventually calmed down and talking.

This was even more awkward than with Jared, Dan thought miserably. What had he done, what was going on? Why didn't Aldo speak and look like before?

"What's w-wrong?" Dan whispered, now turning to look at him properly and slightly moving his hand towards his brother, but that was a wrong move.

"What's wrong?" Aldo chuckled glancing at his hand bandages, but it wasn't a happy one. "What's wrong!? I'm waiting for my brother to come back from his 'walk', and then I get a damn call from the snake that he and you are in the freaking hospital. When I get here, worried almost out of my mind, I see my brother has tried to...kill himself! So don't you dare ask me what's wrong!"

Finished, he had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. He had never snapped like that in front of his brother, and he had stood up while he ranted.

Dan listened and watched reserved, with wide eyes.

"I thought...it w-would be a g-good thing" he said, now whispering only as he was too tired to talk louder but he was wide awake, and coughed which made Aldo to sit down again.

"Good thing? To whom? Don't you know if you would die, I would too? I can't lose you too, bro."

"But I'm just a bother -"

"Don't...just don't say that because you're not and only you think like that. Please, understand I love you and couldn't handle even...even the thought of losing you. You are as much of a person and important like the rest of us, and you will get through this and be fully yourself again. Nothing was your fault so we just want to help."

That was when Dan's mind began to snap to the right direction and he saw how sick his thoughts and how incredibly wrong he had been.

"I'm sorry" he said, beginning to sob because of the new overwhelming but warm feeling he had now.

"You better be" Aldo said softly and took his hand, carefully as it was still clearly hurting. "It's fine, but as much as I'd like to convince both of us everything will be okay from now, I...I don't know how to react to this right. I've tried but still you wanted to... When I saw you -"

"I didn't want you to see me, that's why I asked Jared not to tell yet..."

"That's not the point, and it pains me that you didn't trust me -"

"It's not about not trusting you" Dan raised his voice in desperation, but it hurt his sore throat from the cold and he writhed in panic as the coughing fit felt like taking his breath away.

"Bro, breathe and calm down" Aldo soothed, feeling so bad for saying these things but that was what he meant. When Dan had calmed down again, he continued. "I'm sorry, but when I...wait, how was Jared here with you in the first place?"

"He...found me and took me here, just in time before it would've been too late the doctor said, but I think she overreacted. He was just now before you came, apologising and wanting to be friends."

Dan left some subjects out on purpose. He didn't quite know how to handle the news, first of all that Jared didn't really hate him and then that his 'hate' was a cover to a crush.

Nobody had before said to him they like him like that, and he had never come across this same gender relationship possibility. He was still taken aback of the fact that the first he knew liked him was indeed a he.

"He saved your life" Aldo stared at him in unbelief, and then looked like thinking about something. "Are you two okay? I mean I'm not still good with him, but what did you say?"

"Well, nothing yet."

"Are you okay with him?"

"I guess..."

"Do you trust him, even somehow? I don't, but if you do..."

"I don't know...what's with these questions, Aldo?"

"What I mean is...when I saw you, I got so angry at everything that I was afraid of myself and what I thought about doing. I even hit Liron trying to get away. I can't handle these things anymore and I'm not okay. I can't wait for the next time I think about hitting somebody, you..."

"What a-are you saying?" Dan whispered anxiously, not understanding what his brother was ranting about.

"Well, uh, I was just thinking about asking the cops about some anger management or therapy or some shit like that. These familiar places and people, including you, are apparently making it worse and I really don't want to be like this. I need to get this out of my system, to be able to help you -"

"You're leaving me, now? But I need you -"

"You didn't need me when you shut me out and tried to kill yourself" Aldo pointed out sadly.

The thought and fear of his brother really leaving and him being alone came so suddenly, that he turned his head to look away.

Feeling his breathing changing, he took the breathing mask that covered his mouth and nose so that he was attached to the ventilator.

"Hey, hey, bro, calm down" Aldo pleaded, quickly grabbing one hand to touch him when the ventilator screen showed the first change down in his breathing. "I'm sorry, okay... I'm not going anywhere, I promise, okay? Just breathe and calm down, we're okay."

Read the full chapter in www.patreon.com/xelaneleh (link in my bio)