Just a heads up there's some emotionally heavy stuff in this chapter. It's fairly vague but definitely there.
Once Kelley leaves to answer Becky's phone, Christie turns her attention back to Becky. She's never seen her former teammate look like this. The situation makes her own divorce look like a cake walk.
"Becky, you really should ask for help. This isn't something you should do alone," Christie offers after Kelley leaves the room. She had seen the look of longing on Becky's face towards the phone. Christie doesn't know the whole story but she knows that there's something to be said there.
"I can't do this anymore, Christie," Becky admits blankly. The admission confuses Christie enough to ask for a clarification. "Life. Mine is already ruined and I'm only taking Ella down with me. She needs to be away from me. I'm going to ruin her," Becky admits emotionally. She refuses to ruin the best thing in her life. Her head rests in her hands while she makes the admission. She fears the judgement of her former mentor but she can't help to think that she deserves all of the negative thoughts Christie may have about her.
"Becky, what are you talking about? You are the best thing in that little girl's life. She worships the ground you walk on," Christie argues in return. Her heart aches at how little Becky thinks of herself. She needs the blonde to understand what she's saying.
"No, no she doesn't. Ella needs someone better. Heather and Dave or Ali and Ashlyn could give her the life she deserves. She wouldn't even miss me and she'd be better off. I wouldn't need to be around then. Everyone else's lives would continue fine, better even. It would all be better," Becky explains. She picks her head up while she speaks. The fear of judgement is overcome by wanting to see that Christie agrees with her. There's something in her eyes that scares Christie. She's worried that Becky will do something that she's gonna regret. Kelley turns around the corner then and sits on the coffee table in front of Becky. She had been listening to the conversation since she had finished with Zola. Becky's words terrified her but also infuriated her.
"Becky, look at me," Kelley orders sternly. The tone of her voice causes Becky to look over immediately. She's never heard Kelley like that even when she yells at refs. "You will not give up. You're not allowed. Do you hear me? There's a little girl upstairs who loves you deeply. Heck, there's a man in Portland who just confessed how much he loves you to me. They won't be able to go on if you give up, Becky. If you think you messed Ella up now, how is she going to be if her mom hurts herself and never comes back, huh?" Kelley lets out in a giant breath of anger. She realizes after a second that she may have said too much. "Oh god, Becky, I'm...," Kelley begins to apologize but Becky stops her.
"No, no Kel, you're right...wait did you say a man in Portland loves me?" Becky interrupts, realizing the truth in Kelley's statement, but she's quickly confused when what Kelley says fully sinks in.
"Oh, yeah,...sorry that it's me telling you and not Zola. He told me on the phone that he's loved you since he was 19 and that he wants you to move closer," Kelley answers sheepishly. She hadn't meant to out Zola but if it helps she won't feel as bad.
"God, how can I be so selfish," Becky breathes out. She leans into the back of the couch and shakes her head. Both Christie and Kelley see the change in her demeanor. It's as if a storm cloud has passed and clearer skies have returned inside the blonde.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up. We all have our moments. You should never be sorry for how you feel, but I want you to be here for a long time, kiddo. That means you need to talk to someone to work through this stuff," Christie validates. Becky's allowed to feel whatever she feels, but Christie knows she has to speak with someone professionally about what she's been through.
"Yeah, you're probably right. Thank you guys for helping me see the light," Becky relents before thanking the two women next to her. Christie suggests that they stay the night and both Kelley and Becky readily agree.
After setting her guests up in the spare room, Christie makes her way up stairs. She's surprised to find Rylie in her bed. Her surprise quickly turns to worry when she sees the red around her daughter's eyes.
"Ry, what's wrong?" Christie asks concern floods into her voice. She climbs into bed and wraps her arms around the girl.
"Shawn hits Becky? Does he hurt Ella, too?" Rylie asks as tears threaten to fall again. She had been listening from the top of the stairs where no one can see you. Rylie realized after a while that this probably wasn't a conversation she should be listening to. It all confused her and made her sad for Ella.
"Oh Ry, you shouldn't have been listening to that, but yes Shawn has hit Becky and tried to hit Ella. He's not a good person," Christie explains frankly. She can't lie to Rylie now that she has heard the conversation.
"Why would he do that? Ella's just a little kid and Becky's so nice," Rylie questions. She can't fathom why anyone would do that.
"I don't know, babe, but no one should ever hurt anyone else whether it's physically or with words," Christie offers in an attempt to explain in a way a 12 year old would understand.
"Mom? Becky isn't going to leave Ella, is she?" Rylie asks after a moment. Her mother's prior answer didn't really seem like an answer to her but she's not going to push it.
"No sweetheart, Becky was just upset because of some things and wanted Ella to not have to be around that. Kelley and I helped her so everything's starting to get better," Christie answers vaguely. She's glad Rylie didn't understand the full magnitude of what Becky actually was thinking of doing.
"Mom, can I sleep here tonight?" Rylie requests after a moment. Christie readily agrees before snuggling in with her daughter. She's actually grateful to have her there as a reminder of the good in the world. Hopefully, Becky gets a piece of it too, Christie thinks to herself before falling asleep.
