𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍 | 𝐛𝐭𝐬

FOURTEEN

Your P.O.V

"Drugs, drugs, please give me drugs." I make a face at my pale reflection.

My side hurts. My head hurts. My whole body hurts. I don't understand anything that's happened today. Rosé put the hit on Jin. She's helping the institute. She's helping MIRAGE. She's helping Big Boss! But . . . why? And thanks to Big Boss's rules, I can't visit her or even call her without being spied on. How could she do this to me? To us? She used me.

My side hurts.

My life hurts.

"Drugs, drugs, drugs, I want some drugs," I sing, dancing out of the bathroom and into my living room. It's a beautiful room—unfortunately pink, but otherwise flawless, and it's more than I could ever ask for.

A king sized bed with a dozen pillows; a luxury sofa set; ceiling-to-floor windows; wall-to-wall carpeting; a celebrity sized dresser; a walk-in closet; and as if that isn't enough, there's also a built-in bathroom with a marble floor and a tub. All it's missing is a kitchen, but that's okay because it's just down the hall. Believe me if you can, but I'm pretty sure that even Ramsay Gordon hasn't seen a kitchen as grand as ours. And this is just the East wing, I'm talking about. Yes, the guys have a separate kitchen in the West wing.

Treated like slum dogs during training but provided with facilities similar to that of royalty. Is that suppose to balance things out for us or something, according to them?

"Drugs, Kai, I need drug—" I stop short, almost tripping, and let my anger (always on simmer, I keep it in simmer just for this) explode. "What are they doing here?"

Suzy and Tzuyu are sitting on my couch—my couch—and Kai is by the window on his phone. I can feel my cheeks getting hotter by the second as my blood starts boiling inside me. Tzuyu is already squirming, looking like she's going to be sick. I turn to Suzy and mentally list every dirty, foul, obscene word I've ever of heard or read. I start screaming them in my head, letting them bounce inside my skull, the whole place a vast echo chamber of filth and bile and words, words, words.

Then, because her severe mouth is a single straight line but she hasn't truly gotten angry yet, I smile, bare all my teeth at her and think three simple words: Hana, Haru, Hani. She gasps in horror and rushes from the couch straight at me, grabbing both my arms and slamming me into the wall. As if on cue, an indescribable amount of pain vibrates from my side (oh God, the bullet wound) and spreads all across my stomach from the impact of my back slamming against the wall.

"How do you know their names? How?"

Hana, Haru, Hani. Hana, Haru, Hani. HANA, HARU, HANI.

"STOP IT!" She screams, and I sigh in relief as Kai pulls her off of me. Oh my god, the pain; spots dance infront of my eyes, but it's worth it.

Suzy is screaming at Kai and he's talking, trying to calm her down. I sink along the wall to the floor and laugh. I knew it was a good idea to pick up her cell phone when she left it on her desk the other day. I didn't even have to sing pop songs, and my thoughts are safe.

"If she doesn't have anything to hide, then why does she do that? You don't know what it's like, having to listen in on her thoughts! She's a monster!"

"Rawr," I say.

Kai walks her to the door. "I think everyone could use a break. Suzy, thank you so much for your efforts, and I promise your family is safe and she doesn't know where they are, and even if she did"—he cuts a glance in my direction with his warm brown beautiful eyes—"she wouldn't hurt them. She's just disoriented and in pain. It'll pass."

"I doubt that." She opens the door.

"Give my love to your nieces!" I shout as the door closes, and I've never seen that shade of red on a face. It's quite lovely, actually, I should aim for it more often. But for now, adios, Bae Suzy-sshi.

Tzuyu stands. Oh, Tzuyu, why haven't you gotten out of here yet? You could go, you could be free—why are you working with them? They have nothing on you.

"She's calming down," She begins to say. "But her wound hurts a lot and she's confused and angry. The last one goes without saying. She's not going to kill herself, though. Can I leave now? I have a headache."

Kai nods and I see the way she leans toward him, the hand she casually puts in his arm, before pulling herself back and walking carefully to the door. She is aware of how her hips look in those jeans—she wants him to want her. Kai shows no reaction whatsoever (my good boy). I send a big burst of anger in her direction as a parting gift. I hate her.

Kai walks over to the door and closes it shut, but doesn't lock. He then leans against the door frame, crossing his arms across his chest, and heaves a sigh.

"Iris?" He suddenly says, raising an eyebrow when he sees me staring at him with a blank expression.

He stopped calling me by my real name a few years ago under direct strict orders from Rosé. What a good boy he is. I mean, he could just disobey her if he wanted to because after all, she's not here, plus, she's just a orphaned, blind, and helpless teenage girl who's being held hostage with no special training to help her defend herself, and not to mention along with a broken younger sister who's continuously being used as a murder weapon by an evil co-operation.

"Iris?" He tries again. I decide to ignore him and continue to stare without a care in the world.

His hair is somewhere between blonde and brown, golden really, backlit by the last bit of sun sneaking through the tall windows, and he is glowing and so very, very, handsome. I'm glad Suzy is gone because I'm thinking things about Kai I don't want her to hear. About tracing the broad line of his shoulders and his arms, about the way he walks. The curve of his lips. I want to run my hands down his bare arms and wrap them around his waist and to bury my face in his bare chest. He knows what my hands do, he knows about them. But he'd still let me, I bet.

I wonder if Jin would let me me touch him with my horrible hands, if he knew, if he really knew. I told him I killed people, but I don't think he understands what that means. He can't. If he could, he wouldn't be Jin. Calm and steady and sweet. I wonder where he is, if he's okay.

Don't think about it. Thoughts aren't safe, ever.

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