Like Night and Day

Cages

Waking up to the bare color of the ceiling, Baekhyun felt dead and empty. Memories of the night before groggy and blurred as he tried to recall what he had said and done that would've amounted to the feeling of heaviness in his chest. It was no hangover, but it was something else; something different.

His phone was silent. It had been silent for hours, even more dead than the night itself after doors were slammed shut and feelings were smashed to pieces. Sleep had escaped him numerous times within the last six hours, granting only minutes in sliced pieces given at ration. Baekhyun couldn't keep his eyes shut for more than ten minutes at best.

The silence that he had wanted, the distance he demanded to have... Both were given, and yet, everything from the way he felt to the atmosphere marked by the scars of the words that he had spoken left nothing but misery.

-

-

Kyungsoo stared at his screen, fixated on the words of congratulations. Maybe it was a mistake to take on a path he had no interest in, but the alternatives were either grim or nonexistent at all. Confirming his acceptance to the school's admission offer, he felt a wave of regret and the bitter feel of shackles gripping him by his existence the moment the page refreshed, offering him his gray congratulations.

Promptly after, Kyungsoo shut his laptop and sat in the silence that kept him company for a few minutes, wondering if he had done what was best for him. It wasn't what he wanted, but moments before accepting his admission, he felt as if he was standing on the edge of cliff with no end in sight. Hesitation had filled him and when he jumped, he felt as if it was he had no other choice but to.

Maybe this was all just part of growing up. Transitioning from one cage to another with nothing but a brief moment of freedom in between. Kyungsoo pushed away from his desk and stood up, glancing at the cell phone on his bed. His guts whispered gently to check if he had gotten anything from him but he fought against it and turned his eyes away.

For four years, he had always fought against feelings of attachment. Baekhyun had been the only exception up until a few nights ago. It would've been stupid to let himself feel any connection to any new or observing figures in his life in that moment of time, especially with just a little over a month or so before the last time he'd ever have to really look at the same faces day in and day out again.

He wondered if it was okay to leave without a trace of his existence behind. The entire purpose of leaving the nest--the cage--was to never look back and that meant cutting any connection in that certain point that would hinder his flight.

But it troubled him.

It was human nature to yearn for love, or, in the very least, companionship. But Kyungsoo needed someone who he could confide in, who wouldn't judge his choices. There was one person who came to mind who wouldn't interfere with his choice to leave.

And that was because they secretly yearned for the same opportunity.

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-

Self-destruction in itself was beautiful. A rise of emotions all twisting into one explosive ray of feelings, splattered, colorful, and untamed... However, it was the aftermath that held a tone of gray... It was ugly and a pain to even look at.

The breakup held an official feeling to it. Rightful, it was, but the feeling was still foreign. It reminded Baekhyun of the first few weeks post his relationship with Kyungsoo, but it felt different, as if he was damned to mourn it and carry the regret until his last breath. If the future was bleak before, it had tuned out all light by the time Baekhyun began accepting the reality of his consequences.