SAVING MR. PARK | PJM

十

↳ ❝I'LL BE FINE, sexy.❞

she shot him a thumbs up and a toothy smile to assure him that she could perfectly handle being on her own now. he didn't budge from his seat, though, because he knew better than to actually believe her. jay huffed when he stubbornly remained on the lone chair across the room, mentally cursing him out for willfully wasting his night to stay with her.

the last thing she wanted was to burden him with her overwhelming problems. mr. park didn't need to sacrifice any more of his precious time; she was already indebted to him for saving her life. she was in a healthcare setting now, anyway. he didn't need to worry about her well-being or safety because that's what the nurses were there for.

"miss parker," he shook his head. "i'm not leaving until at least one of your parents arrives to take my place in this seat." he pointed at the visitor's chair where he was currently sitting.

"okay, but my parents are working. i don't know how long it'll take for them to arrive," jay whined with an accompanying eye roll. "plus, i won't be alone. amber here," she gestured to her appointed nurse, who was too busy filing some paperwork to engage in the conversation, "will keep me company. isn't that right, amber?"

the young nurse glanced over her shoulder upon hearing her name and gave her patient a single nod before returning to her duty.

"see?" jay smiled at the seated teacher when her point was (flimsily) proved.

"i'm not leaving you, miss parker," he sternly reiterated, and jay pursed her lips at that. she closed her eyes whilst lazily sinking back on the pillows of the hospital bed.

why was he doing this? jay was certain he had better things to do than keep her company and cater to her needs. her parents both worked the night shift, so she knew they wouldn't get here right away—which is why she wanted mr. park to just go home already!

"you're so difficult," the brunette muttered as she stared up at the ceiling pensively. "so, what do you wanna do?" she pressed up her chin to her left shoulder and carefully watched the look on her teacher's face.

he cleared his throat and gulped when a certain idea crawled into his brain. "um, w-well," he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "we could," he cut himself short and licked his lips nervously.

and then she understood.

jay almost choked on her own saliva as she read his facial expression thoroughly, instantly catching on to the risqué thought that had slyly crossed his mind. "n-no, nothing like that," she mumbled solemnly, closing her eyes as the memories of today began to flash through her eyes.

it was in that moment that she wondered if she would ever truly move on from this—if she would be able to look at grass the same way again—if she would even be able to interact with men without envisioning a tight grip around her neck—if she would ever let anybody else lustfully stroke her skin without flinching away from their touch.

she didn't know.

she didn't know if she'd get past this.

all she could do was pretend that everything was fine and convince herself that she could get over it. she'd deceive her own mind into thinking that everything was fine—that she was fine.

fake it 'til you make it, her conscience advised. it was the only strategy that she was willing try ... at least until she found a welcoming therapist for her to see. the thought of talking out her real feelings frightened her, though. the last thing she wanted to feel is judged, so she hoped she wouldn't get appointed to some fault-finding, misogynistic "professional" who would blame her for what she'd been wearing that night. she scoffed at the thought of being in a room with one.