Conor Maynard imagines

Chemicals

Banging song really sorry about the slow updates 

I found love with the chemicals
I used to pray for a miracle, but now
I know that it's all over
I used to sit by the waterside
I Kiss your cheek and say "You're mine"
But now I know it's over

When you and Conor had met it was like this crazy chemical reaction, you always spoke never letting silence linger above your heads. Your friends would always talk about how you were made for each other. So many memories flooded into your mind, Beach holidays in California, late night kisses in London. But like all chemical reactions they run out...

And all these little things, they start to slip away
Ooh
And all these little things start to fade away                            

And you said 

Its not that you fell out of love because god you really didn't, Conor loved you with all of his heart and to watch you slip out of his hands like sand falling though open fingers was more painful than anything he had ever experienced. Conor was a singer and you an actor, well only just. Making it in the solo film for Marvels new project you were working with some pretty amazing people... Sebastian Stan was the one who made Conor the most jealous. But you always said "Just mates Baby don't worry" But he did... 

"Hold me, I'm falling apart"
"cos I'm scared and lost in the dark"
"and this feeling surely can not last"
So I took it away, took it away
Away from you
Whoaa whoaa laa

Conor wasn't the only one jealous, he was constantly hanging out with this girl who he frequently did covers with. The anger bubbled up inside and the breakdowns began. Sleepless night followed as you watched the headlights of cars swerve past the shutter blinds in your hotel window. You remember one night having enough and just wanting to end this hurt... this pain. You never drank hated the taste but tonight was different. Fear coursed though your body as the burning sensation of vodka dripped down your throat. The feeling of a hand on your shoulder and the familiar eyes of Sebastian looked down at you. The memories of crying into his shoulder as he rested his head on yours was painful. As he held you close in the dark, the sound of your sobs echoing though-out the empty hotel bar made him hold you even tighter... You don't remember what else apart from the taste of Seb's lips on yours.

I held your hand but you let it go
I knew your heart had found a home
Now I know it's over
I flew it out into the sky
Tryna run from this mountain I couldn't climb
'cause I knew I'd fall over

Going back home to London was horrible, the once spark filled relationship was dull, you squeezed each others hands but you didn't feel the... electricity. Conor looked at you disappear, knowing you had found something else and so.. so had he. Neither of you wanted to admit your kissing schemes with other people. When you flew back to the states Conor willed himself to try and miss you but he just couldn't. He was falling hopelessly out of love with you and nothing could stop his heart from doing so. 

And all these little things, they start to slip away
Ooh
And all these little things start to fade away
And you said

For the next eight months you both held in your despair. Sometimes this happens in love but Conor never thought it would happen with you and him. The small flame that was once bursting with light, now was slowly flickering out, no catalyst would be able to pick up that chemical reaction again... no matter how strong. 

"Hold me, I'm falling apart"
"and I'm scared and lost in the dark"
"and this feeling surely can not last"
So I took it away, I took it away

The girl Conor had met was nice enough, she was nothing compared to you though. Conor didn't like the way she kissed him or even held his hand. You would always give his palm a squeeze to show that you were with him till the end. But he was afraid of being alone and in pain, so he continued to kiss and hold her just like he had done with you. 

And we were making plans and breaking dreams
When you were next to me
It's 3 AM in the back of a cab
And I am begging on my knees
"Don't go, won't you stay?"
"I can't stand to watch you walk away from me"
And you said

This night stuck in your mind like an unexploded mine, ready to scatter and spread at any moment. The night you finally ended it. You both saw it. Conor was grasping your hands whispering "i loved you" you remember smiling, "yeah loved" No tears spilled until you left the cab at your hotel. Conor knew he should of just let you leave but he honestly couldn't. "I know you slept with him" Those words still stung like a bullet wounds. "And you slept with her" You voice was sharper than knifes and cut though Conor like a sheet of paper against a shredder. That wouldn't be the last you saw of him though.

"Hold me, I'm falling apart"
"and I'm scared and lost in the dark"
"and this feeling surely can not last"
So I took it away, I took it away
Away from you
Whoaa whoaa laa ohh

That was a year ago, you and Sebastian got together. Nobody really knew however. It was at the oscars you looked stunning as usual. You felt that spark with Seb but when you saw Conor's steel blue eyes from across the crowded red carpet you felt that Chemical reaction again. Like this forbidden feeling that made your heart crack into tiny bits. Him and that girl never worked out and when he saw you, it made him hopeful that maybe just maybe you to could be... reactants and just be together again. That feeling didn't leave his chest when he saw you turn away and wrap your arms around Seb's neck to give him a kiss. Or when you smiled up at the wrong blue eyes that should have been his. 

Or when the lights from the photographers died down

when everyone went home

and he was left

alone 

"lost in the dark" 

SAD IK I'M SORRY 

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