Game Changer

FIFTY-SIX

She doesn't say anything after I reveal to her what I've been doing throughout the last four years of my life. She just purses her lips as she averts her gaze. I've finally come clean to my mom; staining her ever so clean idea of me. It's quiet though as we sit on opposite sides of our dining table although, somehow, it feels like we're miles apart. I watch as she tucks a stray strand of her behind her ear. The silence makes my nerves spike and I feel the need to spew the remains of dinner from my stomach.

"Please don't be mad," I mumble softly, feeling completely ashamed that my mother is only finding this out now. She shakes her head as she looks up to meet my gaze.

"I'm not mad or upset with you, Sophie." She says and I feel relief flood through me. "Disappointed? Maybe just a little, but not mad. Definitely not mad."

I give her a relieved smile. "I'm sorry, mom. You have no idea how guilty I've felt about this." I say sincerely. My mom nods in acknowledgment.

"What made you think you couldn't tell me?" She says, hurt at the fact that I kept it from her for so long. I sigh, my shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I was okay with it at first but when I realized I wanted out, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so ashamed and scared of how you'd think of me when you found out."

My mom shakes her head, grabbing my hand across the table and giving it a light squeeze. "Oh, sweetie. I would never view you any different. We all make mistakes." She gives me a gentle smile and I sniffle. "This is how we grow, Sophie. We make mistakes and then learn from them. If we don't make mistakes then how are we supposed to grow as a person? I also made mistakes, no better than anyone else." She assures me. I rub at my eyes.

"What did you do?" I ask my mom curiously.

She chuckles, scratching her nose awkwardly. "I had a pregnancy scare once."

My eyes widen in surprise and my mom smiles. "Turns out I wasn't carrying a little human, but I never slept with another human being before your dad came along."

My eyebrows raise in surprise. "I didn't know that."

My mom nods. "It was something that I grew from as a person and nobody needed to acknowledge that except for myself."

I nod in understanding. My mom is such a wise woman who I will always look up to and admire.

"I'm not upset, okay? However, I'll be pressing charges against that bastard who tried to touch my baby." My mother scorns and I give her a grateful smile. She then chews on her lip in thought. "I know your father's departure has affected you, Sophie. But don't let that run your life okay? Don't ever give a man the power to break you down as much as you let your father. You're beautiful and strong without him." She smiles softly at me and I blink the tears away. She squeezes my hand before standing up and checking her watch.

"I'm going to bed, honey. I'll forgive you a million times over. I love you," She mumbles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I relish in the feeling of been able to talk freely with my mom. "Don't ever think you can't speak to me."

"I love you too," I respond and she smiles before padding up the stairs and to her room.

I don't know what made me feel like I couldn't tell my mom when all she was was understanding. I should have known she would support me. I didn't know what I was thinking to be honest. I run a hand over my face and let out a sigh of relief. I feel so much better now that I have told my mom. It also helps that she isn't upset with me. I'm so grateful that I was given a mother who loves and cares for me to such an extent that she'll look beyond my flaws. I know that what I did was wrong but I'm really happy she forgives me. It just takes a whole new weight off of my chest which makes me feel like I can breathe better. I stand up and pour myself a glass of water before switching off the lights and heading up to my room.