l e x i
Hearing Harry ask if I was upset made me change my mind about him. I've always thought that he didn't know much about me, we never really sat down and just told each other about our lives. If someone were to ask him, he'd say that I do all the talking, so there's no reason that he shouldn't know anything about me. Where am I supposed to start with him? Don't most couples know about each other before they start a family together? If you call this starting a family, it wasn't really planned. We never talked about the future or starting a family together. He didn't think I would actually get pregnant, even though I reminded him about the small possibility of it happening. But it's totally like Harry to ignore my warnings.
h a r r y
I shouldn't have brought the ice cream in there, it was a dumb idea. She's probably not going to eat it. Later she'll come downstairs and continue telling me that she's not upset when I know that she is. Sometimes I think I know her better than she knows herself.
I really need to stop thinking about all of this, I need a distraction. I'll go to the bar..no that will only cause more problems. But it will get me out of the house for a little while to give her some space..what if I meet someone else there? I can't go around meeting other girls while my upset girlfriend sits home alone pregnant. I can't always control myself when I'm there. Besides, if I went there, I would get drunk and be even more of an asshole than I already am? Who knows what I'll get into!
I really wish I could silence my conscience sometimes. It knows the right thing to do, but it doesn't know what I need to do. If I stay home and have a drink, I won't have to worry about drinking and driving. But if Lexi comes downstairs, she catches me. Either way, she'll know. I'll stumble through the door and be rewarded with a game of Twenty Questions.
I sigh and grab my phone, walking out the front door. I make my way down the street towards the bar, which isn't that far of a walk. Walking is a smart idea, if, not even if, I know that it will happen. When I get drunk, I can walk home. If Lexi asks anything, I'll tell her just what she told me.
I'm fine.
