l e x i
After eating breakfast, Harry lets me do the dishes, without any arguments. It's so much easier when we don't fight, we don't start the day off in a bad way. I finish the dishes and put them away, walking into the living room to find Harry in his normal seat on the couch watching TV.
I should tell him my decision on whether or not I'm keeping the baby, we won't have to discuss it anymore.
I'll do it in a little while, I want to make sure he's fully calmed down from last night. I watch him for a moment, looking away when I think he catches me.
"Lex.." He opens his arms, looking up at me. I walk over to him and sit in his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder.
h a r r y
I smile, leaning back on the couch so she's laying on my chest. This is how we always used to lay, and I can tell she's happy to do it again. I hope everything that happened last night is forgotten about, I can't help but hate myself for doing what I did.
I turn my attention to the TV, hoping it will distract me from my thoughts. So far, it's not working all that well. Thoughts of her wanting to talk about the baby pop into my head.
Will she keep her? Does she want to give her up? Does she really think I'm not ready to be a father?
Maybe she's right. Twenty one years old is still pretty young, but look at the people who are still in school and pregnant. Not that it's right, but some of them handle it really well.
But when we were still in school, girls were always asking me... never mind, I'd rather not think about that. I'm happy with Lexi. It's her decision, I'll be fine with whatever it is. Although I would prefer it to be one over the other, it's not my body.
She seemed like she was nervous earlier, like she had something to say but didn't want to say it. Should I ask her?
No, let her to take her time, I don't want to bother her with questions. She already tells me that I ask too many.
She moves around a bit, burying her face in my chest. I look down at her, biting my lower lip gently.
"You okay?" I ask quietly, holding her close. If she's not ready, that's fine. I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable. I love this girl more than anyone else in the world, and put her needs before my own. I just want her to be happy. Her shoulders shrug and she lifts her head up slightly.
l e x i
Should I tell him what's wrong? How will he react? My brain won't stop thinking, sometimes I wish I could stop my thoughts. His green eyes watch me as I try to think of an answer. An answer besides shrugging my shoulders.
"You don't have to talk about it, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Uncomfortable isn't the word, it's more like scared. If he gets mad, it's my fault. I can't have a repeat of last night, but sometimes you have to face your fears. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a few seconds. When I open them, I tell him my answer.
"I'm not having the baby."
