Deadly Attachment

Chapter 22

- i shut myself up inside myself.

Natasha walked with me to my room. She had taken off her heels and held them in her hands, swinging them as we walked. I don't know what she was laughing about, or at least I don't remember.

I stumbled into my room, Natasha on my heels. I slipped out of my jacket, and Natasha grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me in for a kiss.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked her, watching as she dropped her heels by my door, and purposely messed up her hair with both of her hands. She hummed happily in response, going into my bathroom to wash off her makeup. "Meet any interesting kids?" Was my next question.

"You have no idea." She smiled at me in the mirror. "Some of those kids are truly special, let me tell you that." Drying her face, she turned towards me and leaned on the doorframe.

I folded my arms, smiling at her figure. She looked gorgeous, still. "Let's leave," I said suddenly, unable to keep the thought inside of me. 

She frowned, smiling in confusion. "What?"

"We should just leave, Natasha." I walked towards her. I wasn't sure of what I was saying, but it felt right to say.

"Are you okay, Katya?" She was still confused but continued to smile at me.

I snaked my hands around her waist, and her hands went to rest on my shoulders. "I'm perfect." I kissed her left temple. "I just think we have to leave."

"Why do you say that?" She asked, resting her head on my chest.

I sighed, holding her closer than before. "I just have an uneasy feeling, Nat." I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. "I think I need to meditate on it. Maybe it's just some sort of PTSD from the last time I was close to someone."

Backing away from Natasha, I noticed the smiling, curious look on her face was replaced with a frowning, worried one.  "You do that." She nodded. I stayed silent, watching as she stripped off her dress and got into my bed, holding one of my pillows close to her face.

"Don't stay up for me," I whispered, kissing her forehead. She traced my jaw with her eyes closed and a smile on her face before I was out of reach.

I left my room and walked towards the open balcony connected to the big room. It was more of a helicopter landing pad than a balcony, but it would work for now. I sat towards the edge of the building, and closed my eyes, breathing in deeply and releasing my breath.

I searched for what was missing inside of me, and for what had bothered me enough in the moment to tell Natasha that we should just pick up and leave. Was this some sort of warning? I searched my mind for that missing piece of the puzzle.

As my mind began to go quiet, I waited for the jump. But I didn't experience the jump. I felt something all too terrible. So much worse than the uncomfortable nip of the jump.

My mind flashed with terror. Not my terror, but everyone else's. Flashes of pain, and light. First came Peter, but he wasn't breathing. Tony kept shaking him, but he wouldn't wake. He was dead. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. Tony cradled Peter's body towards him, letting tears fall freely.

Then the scene changed. Steve was on his knees in a dark room, a gun held to his head. His shield was nowhere to be seen, and he wasn't even in his uniform. He must have been ambushed, that's the only logical reasoning to this. There was an explosion, and Steve fell, blood pouring from the hole in his head. This time, I was able to look away, but when I looked away I was staring at Bucky, who was hung by his neck.

I blinked, and the scene changed once more. Natasha was tied to a chair, and I felt my stomach drop even lower than it was when I had seen my friends die. Natasha was battered and bruised, but still trying to look stoic.

"I'll give you a chance..chance..chance..." The male's voice echoed. The room began to spin. "Tell me..me everything you know..know..know about the Angel...the Angel."

"I'd rather die," Natasha growled, and her voice cut through me like a knife.

"Then die." The voice sounded like it had come from my hear, and I jolted back to reality, turning my head to look at absolutely nothing behind me.

I was panting, and my hands were clammy and shaking. That's why I had gotten the urge to leave. Something terrible was going to happen, and my friends...my family were going to die for it. They were going to die and it was going to be my fault.

A sob racked my body, but no tears came. I just knelt on the helicopter pad, holding the sides of my body as if I was going to fall apart. Something was coming, and it was coming for me. I need to leave.

Stumbling to my feet, I walked with shaky legs back to my room. I'd pack and leave within the hour. I had time to get myself some new papers, perhaps I'd pretend to be from Germany or some other country in Europe. I had time if I left now.

I quietly opened the door to my room and noticed that Natasha was asleep. With silent steps, I made my way to my closet and pulled the duffel bag from the shelf that I had used to come to America. When I had first met the Avengers, what seemed like years ago, but was really around three months prior.

I shoved clothes inside of it, I wasn't even sure of what I was packing. I just needed clothes in there, and I can get away. I'd see the woman who could get me papers and a new passport, and I'd be out.

There was only one thing left...it was this team and Natasha. Was I really going to place the idea that Katya Volkov was just a story in their minds? If it saved them, it would be worth it. But Natasha's dream she had some time ago, it wouldn't be a dream if I went along with this. It would have been a vision of the future.

I was so torn and unsure of what to do, it seemed like none of this would ever make sense again. Lifting my bag and leaving it by the door, I couched by where Natasha slept on my bed.

She would hate me forever, I knew that. But she would be safe. Safe from whatever was out there, out to get me.

I took one last look at Natasha's sleeping figure before carrying my bag and leaving the room, and my love for probably forever. Or at least, years.