Deadly Attachment

Chapter 29

, - in the end, all i learned was how to be strong. alone.

"I want to leave," I huffed while training with Natasha.

"You are not leaving again." Natasha shook her head, glaring fiercely at me. "I'm not letting you leave, no way."

"You didn't let me finish." I smiled and dodged a punch of hers. "I want to leave, and I want to take you with me."

Natasha paused for a second, thinking about this new information. She had a frown on her face as she processed what I said. "Why do you want to leave?"

"You can't tell me you've never thought of it, Nat." I dodged more punches and a kick. She was getting frustrated with being unable to hit me.

She didn't respond for a bit and only threw more punches. I used the takedown she showed me when I first came here, and she pulled me down with her.

"Moya lyubov." My love, I had called her. "I know you want to leave. What's stopping you? We can leave together."

"I'm not a coward." She suddenly narrowed her eyes, making me flinch.

"Did you just...did you just call me a coward?" I was in shock.

Her tone softened immediately. "I'm sorry, Katya. I didn't mean that." I got off of her, and she helped herself up.

"No," I sighed, shaking my head. "You're right, Natasha." I picked up a towel and wiped my face and neck with it. "I am a coward for wanting to leave."

She rubbed my arm, shaking her head. "No, I didn't mean that at all. You're not a coward." I wouldn't look at her, so she grabbed my face and forced me to. "I feel terrible for saying that. I know you're not a coward. You saved me. You saved everyone in this building by doing something very difficult. I shouldn't have said that."

I tried to pull myself from her grip. I shouldn't have asked her to leave with me. I know about her attachment to this team. I should never have asked this.

"No." Her voice was tight. "You're not allowed to walk away from me. I'm sorry, okay? Understand that."

"I understand." I uttered.

Natasha gave an annoyed sigh. "No, you don't. I want to come with you. Just...not yet." I looked away. "There's still so much I can do here."

"I got it." I pried her hands off of me. "I'll see you in a bit, Natasha." And I left without saying another word.

-

Wanda pursed her lips, frowning slightly. "She said that?" I could tell Wanda was trying hard to not take what Natasha said personally. "That's not okay." She shook her head, disappointed.

"She's right, to an extent," I admitted.

"What?"

"To an extent," I said again. "I ran because I was afraid. Maybe I was afraid for her life, but I was still afraid. I'm not allowed to be afraid in this job."

Wanda reached over and grabbed my hand. "You're allowed to be afraid, Katya. It's what makes us...it's what makes us real." I know she wanted to say human but changed it to real. "Would you really leave?" She questioned.

"I did it once, I'd do it again. I'm sorry."

"Why did you come here in the first place?" Wanda asked.

I looked away. "I wasn't a good being, in the past. I guess I wanted to change that and make up for it." I met her eyes. "But now...there are too many valuable things in my life to stay here. I can't stay here as long as someone has something to hold over my head."

My head dropped into my hands, and Wanda rubbed my back. It was a comforting gesture, and very much appreciated. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew that if I stayed here, I would always have to watch out for someone trying to kill Natasha and I. Always. But if I left...

"I don't want to have to leave without her." My voice was muffled my by hands.

"So you've made up your mind. You're leaving." It should have been posed as a question, but it wasn't. Wanda knew what I wanted to do, and she knew that I would do it.

I nodded, taking my hands away from my face and straightening my posture. "I'm sorry, Wanda. I have to. It's the only way to keep the people I love safe."

"We all do what we have to." She looked sad. Once more, I nodded. "When do you leave?"

"I'd like to be gone by tomorrow. But I think I'm staying for the rest of the week." I took a slow breath, realizing it was shaky only when my lip started to quiver.

All these human feelings. I guess staying with them for some time has some effects. And loving one, even more, effects.