Deadly Attachment

Chapter 32

- there is no space big enough for how i feel about you.

Natasha and I spent the rest of the day using up the film for my Polaroid camera. It was fun, and it was a little thing. Relaxing that way. By the time the sun was starting to set, we were walking back to my apartment hand in hand, arms swinging as we walked.

Inside the apartment, I poured a glass of wine for the both of us, and then I closed most of the windows. We sat on the couch, and I turned on the TV.

"TV?" Natasha asked. I nodded with a smile.

"Most people end their days like this. I take it you don't watch much TV, do you?" She shook her head no. "That's alright. We don't have to watch TV. I'd rather talk to you, anyways." I turned the TV off, tossing the remote onto the carpet.

I put my feet up on the couch and watched her. She was beautiful, and it seemed almost impossible that she wasn't married yet, and wasn't in a relationship before I had met her. Of course, I also knew that some people didn't need relationships. Natasha was definitely that kind of person, and it was insane that she had fallen for me just as I fell for her.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked. I nodded, waiting for the question. "You know about my relationships. What were yours like?"

I looked away and out the window. "You're only the second person I have fallen for." I didn't have to look at her to know she was surprised. "I may have been on this earth for a long time, but I'm picky. And it's hard finding someone who loves you as you are."

"I understand that completely." She glanced down at her wine then back to me.

I forced myself to meet her eyes. "The first one was the woman I left heaven for."

"What happened to her?"

"She got old and died." I shrugged as if it were no big deal, but in reality, it did hurt. A lot. Even if I had seen it coming, it still hurt.

"That's going to happen to me, you know," Natasha said after a few seconds. I sighed. I hated thinking about this. "I'm human, and although it may take longer than the average human because of my slowed aging, I'm still going to die."

I took a big sip of the wine and set the glass on the table. "Natasha," I said in an all too serious voice. "I want to become human."

"What? Why?" She asked quickly.

"I don't want to be immortal anymore. It just brings pain every time someone leaves. I want to be a human, so I can live a normal life with you." I scooted to her and grabbed her hand. "I want to be with you, and I don't want to be here when you're gone."

"Is that even possible?"

I licked my lips and told her that it was. "If they got me to feel, they can get me to be human."

"How...where would you go to do this? Who could even do this?" She seemed confused and didn't know how to approach the subject.

"There are rumors of a man in Egypt who can do it. They say he is of Lucifer's people, specifically his right-hand man." Her eyes widened at my words.

"Lucifer as in the devil?" Her voice barely reached above a whisper.

I hesitated before nodding. "Yes."

"So you're going to make a deal with the devil, so you can become human?" She was in disbelief.

"Natasha, it's not as insane as you're making it seem. It is very possible, especially with this man's skill. He can make me human."

"But at what cost?" She also set her wine glass down.

I grabbed her hand, trying to relax her. I waited for her to calm down and I spoke in my relaxed voice. "I don't care the price. It's worth it, Natasha. Whatever it is, it's worth it."

"If it costs you who you are, then no it's not. I'd rather you be a fallen angel than lose yourself." She seemed very fixed on her opinion.

"Let me just go and see what he has to say after we spend our month together. If there's some sort of catch, I'll get out." I tried to sound convincing, although the way Natasha talked about my idea, it was even starting to worry me.

"You're basically making a deal with the devil. I don't like it." She shook her head and I kissed her hand. I didn't like scaring her like this, but it was necessary. She needed to know what was going on in my life. She deserves to know.

Suddenly, I smiled. "You forget, my love. I have the power to convince him to do it for free." She began to relax a bit, and she smiled back at me.

"I'm still surprised you haven't used your power on me. To make me come with you."

"I want you to make that decision yourself." I stared into her blue orbs. "I wouldn't be able to sleep with a sound mind knowing that I had forced you to come with me. It'd be a kidnapping."

"See? You're not bad, Katya. You don't need to prove yourself. You could easily make me come with you, but it's against who you are. And who you are is a good being, despite your history." I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder. "People change, but that past doesn't and I understand that. I understand that more than anyone else will." She kissed the top of my head.

"I love you," I mumbled, locking my fingers with hers. "I never will stop loving you. You are my future, Natalia Alianovna Romanova." At her full name, she squeezed my hand.

"We are one tragic love story." She pulled her feet onto the couch, and I rested my head on her chest, laying on top of her and listening to her heartbeat. Her legs were on either side of my waist, and my hands were around her back.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, counting each beat of her heart.

"You are a fallen angel, wanting to be human. I'm a supersoldier; a human. I will die someday and you won't. I will remember you forever and one day, maybe in a hundred years, you'll forget my name."

I took personal offense to this. I lifted my head from her chest and glared at her. "I will never forget you, Natasha. I wanted to be human before I met you, but now I have more motivation than ever. I will become human." My words were rough, and Natasha stroked my hair. "I will become everything you deserve in a lover. Even if it takes me a while. But I will become everything you deserve and more."

I rested my head back onto her chest, and took a deep breath, trying to match my breathing with her heartbeat.

"If for some insane reason I do not become human," I started. "I will miss you when you're gone. What will the room sound like without your voice? What will the room smell like without your scent? Your laughter? Your yelling when you're angry, and the sound of you crying when you're sad. I'll miss your smile, your lips, your tongue, and the kissing. I won't be able to stay in this country or our own. Your absence will make me leave. Natasha, if you leave me through death or any other way, I will grieve your absence for the rest of eternity."

There was a silence that passed between us, and when I looked up I could see that my Natasha was holding back tears. She smiled at me, her lip quivering and her eyes wet. "You sure have a way with words, Angel." She wiped her eyes of the tears that didn't even have a chance to fall yet.

"Words are easy, moya lyubov. I have to show you that I mean it." I pulled myself up her body to kiss her slowly. It wasn't a perfect kiss, but it was passionate and showed our love for each other. The way Natasha's hands went through my hair, and the way one of my hands cupped her jaw while the other squeezed her waist told us much more than words could.

She gave me a smirk, pushing my face a little farther from hers. "You have to show me, huh? How about you start by showing me in the bedroom." I grinned once the words left her lips.

"As you wish, moya printsessa."