Deadly Attachment

Chapter 31

- i missed you. i missed you so much.

Walking into my apartment in Odessa, I immediately became a bit self-conscious of the place. All the furniture was new and unused. I never stayed here, because it was the one place that everyone knew where I lived. Everyone as in Lucia, Nadeem, and Amar. That's why I couldn't stay here because people knew where it was. I needed something secret. But not my home in Bosnia wasn't even secret enough.

"This is nice," Natasha said while running a hand along the marble counter.

"Thank you." I put my bags down in my room, and took Natasha's from hers, putting them in the same place. "I don't stay here very often, so I'll need to go on a run for groceries at some time."

Natasha leaned against the counter, spreading her arms to either side of her. She looked as if she didn't know what to do, and it made me smile.

"Have you ever done this before?" I asked, putting my arms on the counter at both of her sides.

"Which part? Serious relationship, or living as a normal civilian?" She asked.

I kissed her lips, then her jaw. "Both."

"No to both of those." She admitted. "The first two relationships I had ended a little rougher than I'd have liked."

"Tell me more." I linked one of our hands together.

"You'd be surprised." She was suddenly serious.

"About what? How it ended, or who it was with?" I didn't want to get worried yet. I knew Natasha could handle herself just fine.

"Both, I think."

I moved back a little so she had more room. "Now you have to tell me."

"First ever relationship was with James Buchanan Barnes." She said the name slowly as if it worried her to say it.

I hesitated. "Bucky?" She nodded. "Why'd it end badly?" I definitely was surprised. I didn't think Bucky was one of Natasha's past loves. I didn't know that he loved anyone other than Steve.

"Hydra wiped his brain. He still doesn't remember, even after all this time." She looked away.

I frowned and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry, Natasha. I know that must be difficult." She nodded and pushed some of her hair out of her face with her free hand. "What about your second relationship?"

"Let's put your knowledge to the test." Her words made a small smile appear, but then it disappeared just as quickly. This was a tense conversation to have. "Matthew Murdock. Do you know who that is?"

I thought for a moment but then nodded. "He's Daredevil."

"Well, he was my second relationship. But he got too obsessed with this idea of revenge, he became mentally unstable. I couldn't stay."

"Wow. You haven't had much luck with relationships, huh?" Then I began to think. "I am your first woman?" She cautiously nodded. I frowned. What if Natasha was just hurt, and that's why she is with a woman? She thinks a man can't give her the things she needs. What if as soon as she's healed from heartache, she'll leave me? I have a bad feeling that I was just a stepping stone in her road to recovery. My stomach ached with the possibilities.

Natasha's hand went up and caressed my cheek. "Hey," Her voice was soft. "What's wrong? Does it bother you that I've never been with a woman?"

I met her eyes, and they were searching mine for an answer. "It doesn't bother me, just..makes me nervous. Are you still heartbroken over Matthew and Bucky?" The honesty in my words made me uncomfortable, but I pushed it aside.