I Hate You Too, Princess

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"Honestly? It doesn't look good. I don't think he's going to last much longer."

As soon as I heard those words come out of the doctor's mouth, my knees gave in and I collapsed. Thankfully, Ryan had been standing right next to me so he caught me before I landed on the floor. Everything seemed distant.

"Are you okay, Lexi?" Ryan asked, his voice sounding far away.

"I need to sit down," I managed to say.

Ryan helped me get to the nearest chair. I covered my face with my hands as I felt tears racing down my cheeks. My heart felt like someone had a chain around it, constricting it. It was hard to breathe, hard to think.

Ryan was crouching down next to me, wrapping his arms around me to comfort me. I looked up to see my mom and dad standing together. Dad had Mom wrapped tightly in his arms. They were both crying.

I stood up and left the room without saying a word. I knew Ryan would follow, but I wasn't sure if I wanted him to or not.

"Lexi," I felt Ryan's hand on my shoulder.

I was right, he did follow me. And now I knew that I didn't want him there. I needed to be alone. I loved that he was there for me, but in that moment, I just really needed to be alone.

I turned to face Ryan.

He looked at me sadly for a moment then finally said, "What can I do?"

"Leave me alone for a little while? I need some time to think."

He nodded, "Of course. I'm here if you need me."

I was about to turn and walk away, but just then, I felt the tears come back. I buried my face in Ryan's chest and he hugged me. He said nothing, he just let me cry. He knew just what to do. Just like Cameron always knew what to do. Just hold me and let me cry. Thinking about Cameron made me cry even more.

After crying for a few minutes, I pulled myself together and released Ryan. He softly kissed my forehead then went back to Cameron's room.

I walked outside and found a lonely bench to sit on. It was already dark outside. There were thousands and thousands of stars outside. Not a cloud in the sky. There was a soft breeze that blew through my hair.

I laid my head back, looking up at the sky. Closing my eyes, I just focused on the sound of the wind whistling through the trees. I heard a few crickets in the distance.

I was startled when I felt someone sit on the bench next to me. My eyes popped open. I relaxed when I saw it was only my dad. He smiled at me and I tried to smile back, but it was quickly replaced with a frown, followed by tears.

"Daddy," I cried as I clung to his side like I was five years old again.

I cried and he held onto me like we used to do when I was little and had fallen off my bike.

After ten minutes, I pulled away from him and saw that he was crying too.

"Dad, what'll we do if we lose Cameron?" I asked as I choked down my tears.

He closed his eyes and slightly shook his head, "I honestly don't know, sweetheart. I don't know."

We sat in silence for what felt like years. Silent tears streamed down my face. I didn't bother wiping them away because I knew that more would just replace them.

My dad finally spoke, "Do you remember when you were little and Cameron would take you out in the back yard to go stargazing?"

I smiled at the memory, "Yeah. I remember. I used to love watching the stars with him."

It was my favorite thing to do when I was little. Stargazing in the back yard with my big brother. Cameron knew so much about so many of the stars. He'd taught me all of the constellations.

Cameron even "gave" me a star on my birthday once. He said that his present to me was the star Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse had always been my favorite star because it had such a funny sounding name and because it was always so bright. I never forgot that night, the night my big brother gave me a star.

Then I thought about the time we'd taken a family vacation down to Florida. Cameron had taken me down to the beach one night to look at the stars. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The sky was dark and crystal clear. It seemed like there were a billion twinkling lights in the sky.

We were the only people out that night so the beach was quiet. The fresh air was cool on my skin and I could practically taste the salt in the air. I loved hearing the sound of the ocean waves gently lapping against the shore. The water was calm and it seemed like the ocean stretched on forever and ever. The sky was shining with all of it's bright stars. I would watch the sky for shooting stars. I remember that I loved to look out at the horizon because that was where the ocean and sky met.

And I remember that I would never go out on the beach at night without Cameron. I wouldn't even let my dad take me. I only felt safe there with Cameron. It was our little paradise.

My dad smiled at me knowingly, "That's what we do if we lose him. We remember the good times. That's what Cameron would want, sweetheart. He'd want us to remember the good times we've had with him."

I smiled at my dad, another tear escaping and running down my cheek. I knew he was right. We stayed out there for a while, just watching the stars.

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"Ryan?" I asked, popping my head into Cameron's room.

"Yeah?" he answered, practically jumping out of his chair and rushing over to me. "You okay? Need anything?"

I smiled at how worried he was about me. It was sweet.

"Walk with me?" I asked.

He looked relieved and smiled slightly, "Of course, princess."

We left my parents alone with Cameron and headed outside.

We walked through the front doors and I welcome the cool air on my skin. I had only been inside for about five minutes, but that was enough for me. I was glad to be back outside. I hated the feeling of hospitals.

I took Ryan's hand in mine and we walked aimlessly around the outside of the hospital. It was getting late, probably around seven.

"Do you think he'll wake up?" I suddenly asked Ryan as we walked.

Ryan glanced at me then looked at the ground, "I don't know."

I felt a few tears escape, and roll down my cheeks then drop off my chin.

Ryan stopped walking and stopped me with him. He turned me toward him and looked me in the eyes, "Look, Lexi, I don't know if he'll wake up. I'm not going to tell you that he's going to be okay just to make you feel better because that's not fair to you. But, I can promise you that I'll be right here for you every second of every day. I'm here for you no matter what."

I smiled and brought a hand to his cheek, "Thank you, Ryan. For everything you've done and are still doing. I can never thank you enough."

I put my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. I forgot the world around me and focused on Ryan. All of my thoughts were focused on Ryan as I kissed him. I thought about how much he cared about me, how he'd do anything for me, how he was always there for me no matter what happened.

And that's when I finally realized it. After so many years of thinking I hated him, after almost choosing Joe over him, after almost choosing Tyler over him, I finally chose Ryan. I finally admitted what I'd known deep down inside for years: I loved Ryan.

A/N: Awhhh Ryan and Lexi are so cute!!! But I'm still crying over Cameron!! What'd y'all think of this chapter? I'd absolutely love to know y'all's thoughts. Please comment/message me/tweet me/etc. to let me know!! Thanks for reading! Love y'all to the moon and back! <3 Comment/vote/share/follow/ message/etc. (: