✓Love me till eternity (Completed)

Love me till eternity - Book XII

He left this world nine years back but his memories are fresh like blooming flowers in my heart. He was my first and my last love. After his death I couldn't think of loving anyone but I know I have to marry one day for my parent's happiness.

I had never disclosed my relationship with Neerav to my family because I was scared of wrath of my father. My father is strongly religious, orthodox person that I could not dare to tell him about my relationship with Neerav. Neerav was ready to convince my parents but I was not ready to face all the anger of my family and the humiliation in my relatives. I told him that we should stop meeting and talking with each other, because it would be very hard for us if we fail to marry with each other.

I was stubborn to make him agree to forget me, my heart was bleeding inside but I had to do it. I don't want to see him hurt in the end. I could not fight with my parents to get me married in other cast. I know they would not understand our love, they will just think of me as unscrupulous daughter and I don't want it to happen. Neerav pulled me into his arms and cried on my shoulders, I felt devastated at that moment but I know I was doing for best of us. I want him to forget me and start new happy life. I don't want to show him dreams and then hurt him in the last.

"I will do it if that's what you want. But promise me, you will take care of yourself and always stay happy." Neerav said wiping off my tears and kissing my temple. Then he walked away. I fell on my knees and wept aloud.

And next day I got news in college that Neerav was no more. He finished his life by eating sleeping pills. My heart panged in extreme pain. I could not imagine that he would think of dying. How could he do this? We were hardly one year in relationship and he finished his life because of me. I was so so angry on him, he shouldn't have do this for me. I was coward girl to fight for our love, he shouldn't have finished his life for a girl like me. I cried so much thinking if I could turn the clock and stop him from taking such mad decision.

****

I noticed that my brother's mood was off since morning. He was very silent in the dinner time and didn't eat well. After my dinner, I went to his room to ask what's wrong with him.

"Jay, it's me. I brought coffee for you." I said entering his room. He was busy on his mobile.

"Did I ask you to bring coffee for me? Let me be alone dee (sister)" he snapped rudely at me. Now what I did wrong? He's acting weird.

"Of course I will leave but I think you should share if something is bothering you. I don't like to see you sad." I said in gentle tone and sat on edge of his bed.

"You don't care for me neither for our family. Now please leave this room."

"What do you mean Jay? I do care for everyone." I said holding my tears in bay.

"Really?" he let out a sarcastic laugh. "You are shame to our family. You are 28 already and next month you will be 29. Yet you are unmarried old girl. I can not marry with Priya because my elder sister is still unmarried. Now Priya is one month pregnant and I need to marry her in order to save our child but see my worst destiny! You are still enjoying your single life. You know very well that dad won't agree for my marriage before your marriage. Don't you get it in your dumb head." He said harshly and I was listening his every word carefully, I was shocked seeing this side of him.

"You know I am getting rejections because of my poor eyesight. And only last time I rejected because they were asking for too much dowry." I said defensively. "If boys are looking just for beauty and money then what should I do?"

I helped my brother to complete his engineering as my father's salary was not enough to meet all expenses. At that time no one was much worried about my marriage but from last two years my family is frustrated because of all the rejections I was getting.

"Go and die if you can't change your ill fate. You are useless." His words tore my heart. My own brother is saying this thing to me. I am no worth of living. He's right, my life is pitiful. I left his room with my puffy eyes, tears were ready to stream down. I locked myself in bathroom and sobbed heavily.

****

Three months passed. Jay had to abort their child because it would be risky if they wait until my marriage. I hate myself so much that firstly I became reason for Neerav's death and now my brother's infant. I was still spinster, one hopeless daughter and burden to my family. I was so tired to drag my life but I wasn't capable to die just like Neerav. To do suicide also requires guts and I hate this fact.

One morning when I was washing my body I felt something near my right breast. I stood in front of mirror to get better look and that's when I noticed there was hard knot in bottom side of my breast. I pressed there and hissed at the sharp pain. When this happened to me? My eyes watered instantly as the idea of my death touched my mind. This knot could be of cancer because I have read many articles about cancer and it's one of symptoms.

After office, I avoided to have my check-up with our family doctor because they would inform my parents. I haven't told anything to my parents yet. I decided to consult other fine doctor.

It was confirmed that I have breast cancer. I was crying with the thought of my death but I hid this secret from my family because I don't want to get cured. I just don't want to live my pathetic life, it's better to take leave from this world instead of living such unpleasant life.

****

"Aastha...."my mother held my arm tightly when I missed one step and about to fall down hard. She was taking me to the garden to have some fresh air.

"It's ok mom. You worry too much for me. Few days more and I will be gone forever." My mom glared at me but then her eyes watered immediately. Mothers are sensitive always!

I succeeded in hiding my cancer from my parents for few months but then it started spreading through my lungs and liver. I started feeling breathless and chest pain many times. One day my father noticed me when I was choking for air, I lost my balance and fell unconscious. They brought me to hospital; that's when they came to know about my cancer. But it was late now because my cancer was at severe stage.

I kept my family ignorant about my disease because I don't want them to spend money on my cancer. I had already caused too much trouble for everyone; I want to die peacefully without giving trouble to anyone. Now I am at last stage of my cancer and no one can stop my death. I have few days of my life and I am spending them with my family.

When no one helped me to get rid of this ugly, spiteful life of mine, God came to rescue of me. Now I am happy that soon I will get over with my life and I will meet my Neerav, my love. I closed my eyes and let my tears flow down on my cheeks. I was smiling through tears of joy and contentment. I am ready to meet my death; Eager to embrace my true eternal love!

The End.....

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