12 - Pregnant By A Thug

Chapter #8

I laid on the floor & cried.

It's been almost 3 months since the incident at the party & only 1 week since I saw Tyreke at the movie theater. I haven't saw him again & didn't plan to. I was happy to have him out of my life, until now.

I think I'm pregnant. But I can't be pregnant, I'm too young. My mom is going to kill me. & when my dad finds out, he's going to break out of prison, kill Tyreke then kill me again.

I caught the bus all the way across town just to buy a pregnancy test. I wasn't trying to risk being seen by anyone I know. The ride was 2 hours, but I would rather do that than having my mom find out.

I laid on the ground in shock. These results can't be real. But it's only been 6 months since I first started my period & I'm already late. 1 month late at that.

I had took both test in the box just to make sure. They both said the same thing. POSITIVE. I rolled & laid on my back then cried harder.

What am I going to do? My mom will never look at me the same when she finds out & Tyreke will never accept it. Especially after learning my age.

Where am I going to stay? My mom is going to put me out. How will I go to school? I'll have to drop out. How could I let this happen?

I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest for another hour in a daze. After realizing that my mom would be getting off of work in 30 minutes, I got up. I cleaned up & then thought about how I was going to dispose of the test.

I can't throw it any of the trash cans inside, because my mom just might somehow see it.

I wrapped both test up in a bunch of toilet paper then put it, along with the box in a grocery bag & wrapped them up. I walked outside to see who was out there & the streets were empty, like always.

I calmly walked down the street to the last house on my street. The old lady at the end always sat her trash out a day or 2 early so she doesn't miss when the trash man comes. I looked around once more making sure no one saw me then tossed the bag inside.

I turned around & power walked home then laid across the sofa. When my mom got home I was laying there watching The Amazing World Of Gumball like nothing was wrong.

"Hey baby." She spoke.

"Hey mom." I said looking over at her. "How was work?" I asked.

"Work was work. How was your day? You didn't get into any trouble did you?" She asked.

"No. Do I ever?" I laid my head back down & looked at the TV.

Like I stated before. I'm not a bad kid at all, but this 1 incident will have me looking like I'm the worst kid in the world.

"What would you like for dinner?" She asked taking off her shoes & putting them in the closet.

"Anything is fine with me. Do you need any help?"

"No sweetie, I got it."

I really haven't had much of an appetite lately. I doubt I'll even eat anything at all tonight.

I turned off the TV & went upstairs & stayed in my room reading until dinner was ready. I was actually starting to feel a little hungry so as soon as my mom called me down, I ran down to eat.

I made me a plate & took it back up so I can eat & think in peace.

I really wanted to tell my mom what was going on, but how.. I'll have to tell her that I lied about my age & went to a party without her permission too. She'll be even more mad at me than I can handle.

How will I tell Tyreke? What will he say when I do? I can't keep this baby. Nothing good can come if I do.

I unlocked my phone & google searched some places where minors were able to go & have an abortion without an adult. There weren't any here but I did run into a comment on how to have a miscarriage.

There's no difference with having an abortion & a miscarriage right? They're both exactly the same except I think that one is less painful.

One of the comments was from a lady that said when she was 15 she got pregnant by an older man & didn't want to tell him or her parents so she took it upon herself to get rid of the baby.

I wrote down some of the things she said then looked at the short list. Can I do this? I asked myself. I have to at least try. I can't just let my life go to waste like this.

Tomorrow was Sunday. My mom had work & she leaves at 6am. Once she's out the door I'll try one of these out. I just hope it works.

When I woke up the next day I checked to make sure that my mom had left then ran downstairs. I looked outside to see if her car was gone & it was. I walked into the kitchen & looked for the cinnamon & to see if we had any vinegar. We had them, so I grabbed a glass & filled it with water.

I was very nervous. I don't want to kill an innocent child. But I'm a child myself & too young to be a mom.

I went back upstairs & mixed the vinegar & cinnamon into the water. I took a sip of it & it was disgusting. I don't think I can drink a whole glass of this.

I held my nose & drank it non stop. I don't know how long this was suppose to take but I hope it hurries up. I need to be baby free by the time I go back to school tomorrow.

I laid in bed & texted Mia until my stomach started hurting? Was it working? I got up & went into the bathroom but nothing was happening. It just felt like I was having cramps.

I ran over to the toilet & threw everything up. I got up & rinsed my mouth out. I'm not having this baby so I'll just try this again.

I went back & drank 1 more full cup of cinnamon & vinegar then put everything away. I see this is going to be a slow process.

I laid back in bed & placed my hand on my stomach. If this was 6 years from now, things wouldn't be so bad. But I haven't even made it to high school yet. I can just imagine the looks I'll be getting from the world if I was to walk around carrying a baby at my age.

Thinking about it made my eyes water. A tear rolled then I wiped it away. I can just hear my mom going crazy if she was to find out.

My stomach was still trying to hurt but it didn't feel like anything was going on so I just went to sleep. I don't know what I'm suppose to expect. I've never witnessed a miscarriage before.

When I woke up I was in pain. I was able to walk but my stomach was hurting like crazy.

I looked at the time & it was only 11. I went into the bathroom to use it & was bleeding. It looked like a period but there was more blood. Maybe it is my period. Maybe since I was late there's more blood. The test could of lied.

I felt relieved. All of this time I was stressing myself out over nothing.