Broken (23) - From Trey and Khayla.

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Broken (23) - From Trey and Khayla.

Burying Feelings

Author's Note: As usual, comment and vote as that is what keeps the story flowing.

Trey's Point Of View

I got on a separate bus from Dami which was needed as I just wanted some thinking time. I turned my phone off as the only thing I wanted to hear were my thoughts being processed. Going to my dad's gravestone was my best thing for me now. When all else was failing in my life, I had that place to go to come rain or shine and I truly just treasured telling my dad everything on my mind as he was the only one I relied on. Even though he wasn't there for me physically, I knew he would always be there mentally because sometimes when I'm low, I feel his presence over me. I have to do right by him because he told me before he died that I have to carry on the family name. He also told me before he died, he loved me but I never showed it back. That was my only regret in life.

As I sat down on the bus next to an old African women dressed in traditional clothing, I found myself fascinated by her.

She reminded me of myself in a sense as she sat there neat with what seemed as though she had a weight on her shoulders. How could someone be so calm but carry so much stress with them? I was stressed and clearly wasn't calm.

........

As my stop approached, I got up to get off the bus and found myself rushed by a woman with kids to get down the three steps that were in front of me. Watching the women made me remember how my own mum struggled with my brothers, me and my younger sister in everyday life from food shopping to the simple task of getting in a car. My childhood memories flooded back to which I soon found myself trying to hold back tears. This was before my dad died. That was when we were a family. That was when I and Khayla were ok. That was when my life was whole not broken.

Making my way to the cemetery is always the same for me. I get off the bus, walk down the path and then turn right. I would see the black gates with a gold sign gleaming bright. My dad's headstone would be in my families' personal section near the oak tree. As I did the instructions, my brain lay out; I remembered what the course of the year brought me. Up till today, I thought me and Khayla was going to be what I wanted: happy. Everything would be ok but nothing goes to plan in my life.

I turned my phone back on as I had had enough of my own thoughts and wanted to know what reality had in store for me now.

3 missed calls. 1 text.

Missed calls:

1) Khayla

2) Mum

3) Vonte

1 Text from Vonte.

Vonte was my eldest brother. We've had not much contact since my dad died as I blame him for the the demise of the family. To get a missed call and text from him, I guess would be a blessing but I wasn't bothered much. He wasn't there for me, my other brother, my sister or more importantly my mum. Instead he ran off to university leaving the rest of us to deal with the loss alone. He wasn't a brother, he was a coward!

Text from Vonte:

When you get this call me back. We need to talk. Vonte.

I dialed his number back however was questioning why I even bothered. He picked up after the first four rings of the dial.

"Trey?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

I had to be blunt. I forgive but never forget but I haven't even forgiven him so the feelings of anger and resentment are still there.

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